Guilt

in #sarcasm7 years ago



A Metric
...................................................................................................................................................................................

Let’s talk about Guilt...scientifically.

anything that cannot be measured does not exist

“When you can measure what you are speaking about, and express it in numbers, you know something about it, when you cannot express it in numbers, your knowledge is of a meager and unsatisfactory kind; it may be the beginning of knowledge, but you have scarcely, in your thoughts advanced to the stage of science.”

― William Thomson, 1st Baron Kelvin

Note: NOT the same as GASP which is something else entirely.

So we need a scale. I made one. I’m call it the Omnicron Guilt Scale since for anything to be scientific it has to have a Greek Letter somewhere and the greek letter for Omnicron is the same as the English letter ‘O’,which is on my keyboard without having to bother with Geeky stuff that I don’t know how to do.

Race

As with anything else that is of any consequence we must start with race..



The cartoonist William H. Walker ridicules the colonial hypocrisy inherent to "the white man's burden". (Life magazine)
The White Man's Burden: The United States and The Philippine Islands (1899)

  • Take up the White Man's burden, Send forth the best ye breed
    Go bind your sons to exile, to serve your captives' need;
    To wait in heavy harness, On fluttered folk and wild—
    Your new-caught, sullen peoples, Half-devil and half-child.
    .
    Take up the White Man's burden, In patience to abide,
    To veil the threat of terror And check the show of pride;
    By open speech and simple, An hundred times made plain
    To seek another's profit, And work another's gain.
    .
    Take up the White Man's burden, The savage wars of peace
    Fill full the mouth of Famine And bid the sickness cease;
    And when your goal is nearest The end for others sought,
    Watch sloth and heathen Folly Bring all your hopes to nought.
    .
    Take up the White Man's burden, No tawdry rule of kings,
    But toil of serf and sweeper, The tale of common things.
    The ports ye shall not enter, The roads ye shall not tread,
    Go make them with your living, And mark them with your dead.
    .
    Take up the White Man's burden And reap his old reward:
    The blame of those ye better, The hate of those ye guard—
    The cry of hosts ye humour (Ah, slowly!) toward the light:—
    "Why brought he us from bondage, Our loved Egyptian night?"
    .
    Take up the White Man's burden, Ye dare not stoop to less—
    Nor call too loud on Freedom To cloak your weariness;
    By all ye cry or whisper, By all ye leave or do,
    The silent, sullen peoples Shall weigh your gods and you.
    .
    Take up the White Man's burden, Have done with childish days—
    The lightly proffered laurel, The easy, ungrudged praise.
    Comes now, to search your manhood, through all the thankless years
    Cold, edged with dear-bought wisdom, The judgment of your peers!
    .
    "The White Man's Burden: The United States and the Philippine Islands" (1899), by Rudyard Kipling,
    .

This establishes the white man’s guilt. History is replete with examples of how the whites are mean evil nasty no good rotten people.


Race
( +/ - 1 - 4)
Since there are four races

Whites:The White Race is GUILTY! There’s no doubt about it. Therefore I propose that whites be enumerated with a scale of +1 on the guilt scale

Blacks : Blacks aren't guilty because of slavery. Therefore I propose that they receive a negative number in this calculation.
Blacks are - 1 on the guilt scale
The are as not guilty as whites are guilty (because: slavery)

Indians ….oops. I mean native americans’ oops...I mean ‘first peoples’ aren’t guilty either. The are even less guilty than Blacks. They have been oppressed throughout history worse than blacks who were oppressed as individuals, not as whole peoples. Entire tribes were genocided. The Mohicans are just gone. When allowed to live the first peoples land was taken away from them. In the wild they were noble savages living in harmony with nature in peace and love. So they get a score of minus two on the Omnicron Scale

Asians. Asians are almost as bad as whites. They actually study in school and make good grades. That’s not fair to everyone else. That’s improper use of privilege. They shouldn’t be allowed to do that. Asians are improperly ascendent in world commerce at the expense of others. It’s ok, even desired, to burden whites, they deserve it, but all the other races of the world are innocent victims. Consequently Asians get a +.75 on the Guilt Scale. They are three quarters as bad as whites.

Black, White, Yellow, and Red, that about covers Race

Age

(+/- 0 until death.

This is a sliding scale. Old people are guilty. The older they are the more guilty they are. Babies are pure as the driven snow. Except for the unborn. The unborn aren't even human. They are just masses of cells and can be disposed of at the will of their mother. It’s her body, her choice. But as those cells get older they get more and more less guilty until they are born. At birth they are zero. Innocent until they age to guilty. The older they get the more guilty they get. So we’ll give Age a sliding scale guilt metric of based on a negative stable distribution of .5

Religion

(=/- 4,300)

There are 4,300 different religions in the world and every one of them is the One True Word of God.

Just ask them. Except for Christianity. Christianity is responsible for most of the evil in the world.

3 x ‘n’ - Christianity. There are 41,000 christian denominations in the world. They are all bad. They are all mean bad and nasty. Christianity is a bully when it comes to religion. It’s the bad boy. What’s worse is that there is are so MANY of them. Being Christian they are, by definition, bad. I give them a Omnicron scale of plus. Exactly how plus would depend on which denomination they belong to. Obviously some denominations are more guilty than others. This is a judgement call on the part of the analyst.

3 x ‘N’ : [Other Religions] They’re all good. Mostly they are just misunderstood. It’s all christianity’s fault. Once again the rating is a judgement call for the analyst but they are obviously all minus ungood.

Sex

(+/- 1 - 56

Males. Being male is even worse than being White. The male of the species is responsible for every bad thing that has ever happened in the history of the universe.

Female. Naturally females are the polar opposite of males and are consequently innocent of any wrongdoing. EVER. It’s a mistake to think that they do anything bad because males forced them to do it. I give them a Omnicron scale of -2

‘n’ - Non Traditional Gender Facebook, the world authority on everything, lists 56 categories of NotMale/Not Female. Obviously they are all less guilty than white male. Once again judging where they go on the Omnicron Scale would be up to the analyst. It goes without saying that it would be negative guilt.

Wealth

( 0 - Millions)
The richer someone is the more guilty they are. Measured by net worth.

Nation

( +/- 196)
There are 196 nations in the world. The US is evil. All other countries are less evil. Some are more less than others. Detailed analyst would be required to assign an Omnicron rating.

Politics

(+/- 2)

Liberal or conservative.
Conservative more guilty (+2)
Liberal less guilty (-2)

There it is...Do the Math. One can easily use this methodology to determine where any particular person rates on the Omnicron Scale of Guilt.

Sort:  

LOL... we're fucked. ;) So, on the Omnicron scale, does the citizen inherit the guilt of their respective nation? And does that make the US +196?

that would depend on sex, race and religion..
cause slavery...blacks are NOT guilty.....and women are never wrong....and christians always are..

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