An Idiots guide to buying a sailing boat part two

in #sailing8 years ago

Taken from my blog again. I left a pic for you on the blog today steemit xx

Part three.
Thought I'd write this sat in the bath. All this water helps me remember hehehe
Ok lets move down the river a couple of hours. apart from it being dark and the passing dredgers it was just a slow boat ride.
Off in the distance, I could see the shape of two headlands meeting. I was pretty sure my marina was on one of then so point and shoot and on we go. Eventually I saw the first flashing red marker. I lined up with the headland and the tower I'd noted earlier and decided that was good enough for me. good enough in it was red and it blinked and seemed like a good place to be a light. I trudged on and eventually saw the marina lights. I knew I was low on fuel and fortunately low on draft so i short cut up to the marked passage. I was about 100 yards away from the markers when BANG !!!< the sodding engine slipped off the ropes and smacked into the rudder. I was floating around like a spare dick at a prostitutes wedding with nowhere to go. Out in the river I heard the gentle groan of a high powered engine. I turned on my useless phone and waved the light at them. " Going my way?" I asked politely. "ARE you in difficulties sir" came the reply.OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT !!!!!!! It's the coasties.
"Ahem, yes sir I seem to have got meself stuck here and have no steering or power, any chance of a little tow?"
"Stand by sir we shall review the situation. Do you have a life jacket sir". "Yer of course I do"...."Could you put the jacket on sir". Well no I couldn't because I didn't have one. I actually had sod all but a big stupid grin.
They towed me into the nearest point on the marina and began their 500 point boat inspection. These are the inspections that land you fines of thousands of dollars, boats impounded and general upset in your day.
"So this is gonna cost me how much?" I asked one of the crew as I flopped down on the cockpit seat and rolled a cig. It was game over of course. "Dunno sir, that's the skipper has to deal with that".
The skipper returns. "Ok Simon, I'm writing you up for a warning this time. Get all that gear sorted and don't let me see you back on that river 'til everything is done"
I was close to tears. Not sure whether to laugh or cry, but too damn tired to do either.
"Ya kiddin right?"
"No Simon, your story just broke my heart, now lets try and find your buddy".
They tried every phone number they could and were even prepared to get me a taxi to go find Mac. I declined but thanked them profusely, by laying on the ground and licking their boots . I'll never ever have a bad word to say about the coastguard again.
Final bit.
As I mentioned before, for you meteorologist types, there is a reason why wind starts to gradual increase over a given period. It usually means there is one mother of a storm following it.
I had been tied up to the outside wall of the nearest marina to the entrance. The mooring lines I had were a bit on the knackered side but I was there. Job well and truly completed. But, before the coasties left, they mentioned something in passing. "You might want to get battened down and check your lines, there's a bit of a thunderstorm on it's way later". Later turned out to be about fifteen minutes. Like a sensible chap, I got the sails stowed and the covers on and ran out a few more lines I could find. "OK, lets go find Mac and get some food and a damn drink, I got a throat like a camels ass in a sandstorm" I said to myself. I said it to myself because there was nobody else there and I tend to ramble to myself like an idiot. I had no real clue where I was so I just set off following the road nearest the creek. I'd gone about half a mile when it started. First the wind, then those huge drops of rain like some elephant is crapping on your head. I turned round and ran. By the time I got to the boat she was leaping about in the water like a salmon on crack. I jumped aboard and slammed the hatch cover over. Then I heard the grinding. We were getting pounded up the transom by huge waves that were lifting us up and dropping us like a rock. At the same time the side of the boat was grinding against the wall. No fenders. Shit. I grabbed one of the couch cushions and sprang outside. Sprang as in ripping my legs to shreds as I missed and slid down the steep steps. Got back up and got outside. It was howling now and the rain was just some old dude throwing buckets of water at me. I was totally soaked to the skin. I rammed the cushion between the boat and the wall and for about an hour sat there playing human fender.I decided I felt a bit of a nipple sat out in the rain like that so I dragged one of the jib sheets down and tied the cushion to that. Then, the only bit of safety equipment worth showing the coasties, my horseshoe life ring got rammed in there as a fender too. I got back inside and Mystic and myself spent the next couple of hours flying up and down and holding onto each other. If you ever fancy paying a few thousand to go to Disney, forget it. Just get a ride on a boat tied to a wall in a storm. an experience for all the family.
Final final part later

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