Entangled With His Darkness

I arrived at work later than everyone else, so I was the only one outside in the parking lot. My ex decided to pull up and park next to me for the same reason - to clock out. He lowered his car window and started uttering peculiar statements. I responded with eye-rolling, brushed him off, and started walking away, which frustrated him. He exited his vehicle, approached me, and pinned me against my car. His energy was more off than it ever was before, and it made me feel really uneasy. I requested him to leave me alone, pushed him aside, then swiftly made my way into the building to clock out.

As I was getting ready to end my work shift in the isolated area, I suddenly turned around and found my ex standing there, causing me to promptly clock out. As he clocks out, he also blocks me. I try to get around him, but he pushes me against the wall with his body, grabs my hands, and gets extremely close to my face. Then he informs me that I'll be accompanying him. He let's me know before I say anything, "I have no choice". Even though I deny him, he already made it clear that my words will fall on deaf ears.

For some reason, I was pulled into his gaze. I saw evil when I looked into his eyes, and I knew that dread was what he saw in mine. I became more frightened and tried to free myself from his hold, but he restrained me against the wall with force. I promised him that if he let go of me, I would accompany him anywhere. He concurs. Given the opportunity, I bolt out the back door as he turns to go out the front. Already on guard, he turns back around, and begins to chase me. Not too far from the back door, I attempt to dash into the girls' restroom, but my ex was right there with me. He grabs my arm, twists, and whispers low, so as not to alert anyone who might still be around. "You. Are. Mine! Do as I say or you'll regret it! Understood?" I start breathing heavily and realized I was too afraid to cry out for help. Perhaps I was too humiliated, so I just nod in agreement. My ex slowly releases me; I follow his instructions and behaved appropriately. If I listen, he won't hurt me, hopefully. Though I attempt to comply, I realize I'm frozen in place. I knew it would anger him, so I try to beg him to just go away, as I shake and hold back tears. "No," He says as he grips my face, as though he were about to give me a kiss. I have no choice, but to follow him -- because I will always be his. Then the worst happens; he abducts me.

Once we arrived at his house, he tells me to give up my keys and phone, so I can't escape nor call for help. He grabs on to my waist, so he can make sure I won't start running or purposely look suspicious to his neighbors. As we enter his home with ease and lock the doors, he calms down, but my fear level increased. I had no idea if he was going to kill me, or worse. Then, as if he hadn't just abducted me,
he attempted to feed and converse with me. Thrown off, I don't respond. Sensing my confusion, he begins to declare, "I'll be yours again, and you'll be mine, but this time, forever." My former partner instructs me to then go lie down in his room, once I finish the sandwich.
He stares at me as if he wants to caress me, but I
tell him no. Sighing heavily, he forces me to stand up. Shoving me in the direction of the room, he pushes me onto his bed. Removing his shirt, I start to hyperventilate. "Calm down. I just want to feel you on my skin," he says, with lust in his eyes. He then positions himself behind me. We both lie down, and he hugs me closely. I was scarcely able to move since he held on to me so tightly.

As if on cue, he begins to kiss my neck, he then whispers in my ear. "I'm going to have a baby with you. Tonight." As if heavy gravity had collapsed my lungs, I felt my heart begin to shut down. That's when I knew that if I didn't scream, he'd take advantage of me for sure. The moment he reached under my skirt, I shrieked with intensity. So loud, it could burst a blood vessel. My ex, shocked, tries to grab for my throat, but I roll off the bed. Even though I hit the floor really hard, I still got up and ran towards his front door. He reached to grab me by the hair, but not before I managed to open the door and cry out for help. I was then flung to the ground.

He knew it was over. Pacing back and forth, he stops and looks down at me. I soon see the look of pure hate shoot into his eyes. That's when he decided to slam his foot into my side, breaking a rib instantly. The pain I felt was unheard of. Despite the overwhelming pain, my ex's shouts were very clear. He's never spoken to me like this, but it sounded like he's always wanted to. As time blurred and the beating continued, I began to go in and out of consciousness. At this point, I welcomed death. But destiny had its own plan. Sirens were heard, and I knew I was going to be okay.

One year later, I'm sitting in group therapy
with other victims who are battling tooth
and nail to regain their authority. Personally, I have no further wishes than that. If I could tell the younger me something that would save me, I'd say, please speak up. Don't be afraid and always trust your gut. One day, you will thank me.