de rerum belgicum, a diary of sinking into apathy?

o lol and thanks for the upvote upvoting this anyway despite all that, much obliged i'll try to repay in kind for what my weight is worth here @dannyshine

I really got nothing to say ... these pills lead impulses down the wrong way. I heard music entering cos i expected it, it wasn't there. I see the world for what it is still. I still know what was taken and where i'm stuck and how but my reaction to it has all but disappeared.

Is this how normal people feel ?

"not" ... ?

I remember a fragment from a dream recently. I hardly do anything but sleep so it's quite hard not to have some actual r.e.m. every couple of days.

I was riding shotgun with this pretty girl with extremely blue eyes and dyed red "emo"-scene style hair. Someone i have never seen along some road originating probably from an american movie ...
She turned to me and said "You should look more at the clear blue sky"

I said : "I'd rather look into your eyes" ... the iris started shining and i woke up

and i thought ... "the night sky is blue too, just a shade of darker"

everything is equal in the dark

Last year i was in Venice, this year im here, stuck ... carnival ratcity soon, without the pills id probably feel the pressure in the air ... "go ... spend .. drunk ... laid ... drunk tarts and fights and lots and lots of cops"

its still van drukkerland, still hellgium, still flanders, still the most number of cops per square meter and my life is still ruined

i'm just ice cold about it now ...

can't say i like it but

and thats probably the pills ... can't say i dont like it either

so i'll just sleep and click ... i havent read an email or newsletter in almost three weeks ... my 67 year old mother told me Musk pulled off the stunt i heard anounce a few months ago i.o. me reading about it two days before

thats where we at ... at belgian level now ... equalized

on the outside

too lazy to plagiarize myself ill just add a screenshot

no, like i said, feel free to drop spare votes but i just need this here so its locked in the blockchain forever ... this very moment, how it was FOR REAL

not redacted by posers with camera phones

is dit nou later ? als ik groot ben ? emmemen ier zitten op wachten ? gelukkig geen diploma vol met leugens. DAAR zijn we lekker net aan ontsnapt ... phew ... imagine thinking straight like pills from birth ? i can't imagine what that must be like i think ... i think ... ik weet nog steeds wel wie ik ben, im right here, behind my eyes, WATCHING YOU ... en tell Boudewijn : " de poes kan ik wel nog verstaan maar die vrienden van weleer ? wie maalt daar nog om man .. good riddance"

Ah ... "my condoleances" .... "i deeply regret your berievement" , i know those words are hollow ... meaningless words from a stranger but what else can i say ?

i'm seriously sorry that had to happen to you at such a young age ...