Okay, maybe a little. I've said this a lot – I'm not really a people-y person, never really have been. I prefer doing my own thing most of the time and so naturally, such a people-y event tends to scare me a bit. It's not that I'm not good with people, you know? I can talk and more importantly, listen. It's just that I'm better by myself than in a crowd and I'm really wondering how I shall fare with almost a week of intense socializing.

Honestly, my biggest fear about the event is that I'll just go back to my corner. See, I don't have a problem being alone, so I might very well say 'fuck it' at some point. It is, after all, something of a reflex with me. And I don't want to do that, it's not the point of this exercise, is it?
But as I said in one of my earlier RTS posts, I have a few people I'd love to meet and hopefully I'll stay out of my shell as much as possible.
Eric (@anomadsoul) keeps saying it's like a big family, but even at family gatherings, I used to go hang in my room at some point, when the people got too much, so...yeah.

But enough about my un-peopleiness (whatever, I can make up words).

Let's move on to another pressing fear, which is the fear of the wrong impression. I think we all have that, no matter how ballsy. See, @tarazkp was saying some weeks ago that SF will be a chance to see people for who they really are. No, you don't get right at the bottom of someone in just a brief week, but you do get quite a good view of who they are. And often, the persona we build online is quite different from who we are IRL.

Who are you, Honey?

I can't say for sure who @honeydue is here on Steemit and if I look back, I see I've shared quite a lot of myself to this platform. Certainly more than I initially thought I would, so that should be quite okay. I've shared some bad things, quite a lot of bad things actually, but still, what if that isn't enough?
The real me might be very different from the image you've got of me in your head. And I don't know, I quite like the image people seem to have of me, she sounds nice. But maybe I'm not her?
Maybe you meet me and you're like who the fuck is this chick?
And I could tell you I don't really care what you think of me and I don't, largely. I couldn't care less, but in this case it does matter what you think, so I'd be lying if I said it was all the same to me. Because this whole thing is about socializing and becoming closer to the community and all that and so the 'fuck you' approach doesn't really work here.

Oh well, I guess we have to wait and see. Not long to wait now, is it? It's coming up soon and then it's gonna be real and who knows what's gonna happen? There's a slight unease in me about that – what it's really gonna be like. But that makes it all the more thrilling.

You just jump and see where you land.

Anyway, thanks for reading and see you at Steemfest,