Dear Men Who Love Rick and Morty: Ignore The Bitch At Vice Who Wrote 'Dear Men, Please Stop Talking About "Rick and Morty" on Dates'

Let me begin by saying this:

Men, if someone is telling you to stop talking about something you love on a date, don't date them. Seriously. It's basically an omen screaming, "DON'T DATE THIS ONE."

Let me also say this: If a man is talking non-stop about something you take no interest in and it bothers you greatly, take it as a sign from the gods that you should not be with this person, and be thankful for that. Otherwise, you'd end up down the road pretty damn miserable.

Maybe I'm an anomaly, but I'm probably the biggest and Rickest fan of Rick & Morty with a vagina. Yep. I'm a chick, and I love Rick & Morty. Here's how much I love Rick & Morty.

• My Boston Terrier's name is Puppy Rick. If I breed him, my friend is getting the first pick of the litter and naming it Puppy Morty. This is a reference to Season 3 Episode 3 when Rick turns himself into a pickle to get out of going to family therapy. He screams, "I'M PICKLE RIIIIIIICK." My mother tells me I have the humor of a 13-year-old boy. Maybe I do, but I believe if something floats your boat ... you cruise on those motherfucking waves.

• Every time I get a notification on my phone, it screams "I'M PIIIIICKLE RICK" at me. Frankly, I needed something that would wake me up for work emails, and that does the trick. It also makes me smile, so I don't hate work emails at 4 am. Smart, right?

By the way, if you ever want to feel patriotic as fuck, make a Bernie Sanders speech your ringtone. You'll want to save America after hearing that shit at 4 a.m. Or a Trump one. If you're a conservative or Hillary supporter, I guess use an appropriate speech for them too. Back to my first point, if it floats your boat ... cruise on those motherfucking waves.

• I've got over 100 Rick & Morty stickers to stickerbomb my Mac.

• For my Valentine's gift, my husband got me the Pickle Rick Funko pop. He also got me Mr. Meeseeks.

Look, I could keep going, but I believe I've established I love Rick & Morty. So, let's get down to the real issue at hand.

Vice recently featured a piece by Anna Lovine titled "Dear Men, Please Stop Talking About 'Rick and Morty' on Dates."

Something bothered me about it. Mind you ... If you don't like Rick & Morty, that's okay. I don't think I'm more intelligent than you. I'm sure Lovine is an intelligent woman, and she does come off as intelligent.

However, dictating to men what to do and what not to do on dates is about the same as a man insisting you should watch a show they love.

Fair is fair. Just like free speech applies to all speech - unless it incites violence. As much as I hate the KKK and everything they stand for, the First Amendment applies to everyone - including the speech I disagree with. Now, if a Rick & Morty fan is sending threatening messages to Lovine, that's not fucking cool, and you should stop it right now.

Furthermore, what does this say about someone? When you enter into a relationship, you're signing on for the fun times and the bad times. You're also signing on for the shit that you just aren't interested in.

Example: My husband loves Mr. Bean and Monty Python. I'd rather dig my eyeballs out with rusty spoons than watch British comedy. Yes, I know. I'm not intelligent enough to get it. However, I married him and love him for all the good qualities that outweigh the bad qualities. I will sit and watch a marathon of Monty Python with him. I might also be reading a book or playing on my phone while we do this, but we share our lives together. He has sat and watched Desperate Housewives (the sitcom - not the reality show) with me through its entirety. Love is love.

Here's the problem with the intolerance of listening to a guy drone on and on about something they like. Let's say they don't go on and on about it. Let's say they don't mention their love for Rick & Morty once.

What happens when you're living together two years down the road, and you're miserable because season four has 70 episodes, and your partner is watching them ALL then dissecting the deeper meanings of it? Do you make them turn it off? That's really not cool. What if they made you turn off your favorite song? I'm pretty sure my husband doesn't care for the Blues Travelers "Hook," but he's never made me turn it off even when I had it on repeat. It makes me happy. He wants me to be happy. I want him to be happy. Give and take baby. Give and take.

Additionally, Lovine writes:

'For some reason, Rick and Morty has attracted pseudo-intellectuals who believe the show is so nuanced, so clever, that the average TV viewer can't possibly wrap their head around its brilliance ... It seems there is a positive correlation between the type of person attracted to the show with those likely to mansplain more generally.'

Mansplaining is real. Women are paid less than men in the workplace. Gender inequality in America (and across the globe) is real. I promise you. I believe in that. However, to constantly run to the feminist card is about as bad as a man mansplaining.

The show does have deeper meanings to it. It's about a grandpa. The closest thing to a friend he has is his grandson. He drags his grandson on adventures and can very rarely show affection towards the one person who can stand him. He also puts him in danger regularly. He's a miserable drunk and hides his pain by being an asshole, touting his intelligence, and by being hilarious.

Guess what? I'm kind of the same way. I'm not a drunk but I hide my depression behind my humor. Rick's humor and his grandson are the only things that are probably keeping him alive at this point in his life. Wubba lubba dub dub actually means, "I am in great pain. Please help me." Bird Person explains this to Morty in season 1 episode 11.

If someone is so dedicated to the show that they believe you aren't as intelligent as they are, it's not about women being inferior to men. It's not a man mansplaining the show to you. It's about everyone else (male and female) who don't like Rick & Morty being inferior to the lover of the show. If the man was at work talking about the newest episode and his male co-worker said he didn't like the show, the fan would most likely insist he's not intelligent enough to understand the show.

It's a dick thing to do - no doubt. But, it's not about what's between the person's legs. It's about what is on their television screen.

Rick & Morty fans have done dick things. Yes, protesting over chicken nugget sauce is silly. Mind you, it's goddamn delicious. I offered to buy a pallet from the local McDonald's, but they wouldn't do it (assholes). Men should never harass women. Gamer-gate should have never happened.

It sucks. Our society fucking sucks right now in America. Men hating on women is a dick thing to do. Women dictating to men what they should and shouldn't talk about on a date (especially when it benefits the woman because they know to avoid the guy) is a dick thing to do too. Consider it dodging the Rickest bullet of them all.

It all boils down to what I once said would be my campaign slogan if I ran for president - Don't be a dick.

Ultimately, the true intent of the article was most likely to get male Rick & Morty fans to click on the headline, garner views, and get riled up enough to go create engagement on corresponding Twitter and Facebook pages. Men, you fell for it. Hell, I fell for it. I clicked the article and even went so far as to write a response to the article when I should be cleaning my house.

Why do you think I called Lovine a bitch in the headline? I don't think she's a bitch, honestly. I could care less what she likes or dislikes. But, I bet a pallet of Szechaun sauce it enticed you to read the article more. I also bet it enticed feminists to click the headline and blast me for not agreeing. If you made it this far, you were trolled, and I'm laughing hysterically.

Ultimately, don't be a dick. Everyone stop being a fucking dick. Get Schwifty instead.