Sharknado 5: Global Swarming - the "Silent" movie review.

Some movies are best with the sound off. This is a review of a silent version Sharknado 5. No closed captioning was used.

Sharknado 5: Global Swarming promises hopelessness and delivers.
We all know the joke was over 3 installments ago. We know its going to be awful. We feel bad for everyone involved especially those that are still trying. We feel bad for ourselves for being alive in a time when this kind of thing is happening not knowing what to do about it.

There is a stretch during the film when I wondered if Tara Reid's performance of a cyborg mom battling the sharknado cataclysm was signaling an awareness of the despair this movie recreates. The actor knows this is a disaster and she doesn't try to hide behind irony. She knows she's a punchline. Every effort is destined to be ridiculed. It is as if she is obligated to entertain with her last breath the random selfishness of a mean spirited child.

I has hoped this would be the redeeming quality but her performance cannot endure this grueling and dispiriting film.

The film intends to convey the idea that no matter who we are or what agency we possess a tornado of cultural viciousness will undo our lives and the things we love. Our cultures will be destroyed. Our children will be swept away from us and reared in circumstances beyond our control and when we see them again they will be grown and we will still be the same dopes we've always been. Our spouses will be foreign to us, more of a posthuman technological hybrid than just human, but we will force ourselves to try to love just them. In the end the earth will be destroyed.

But Tony Hawk and Olivia Newton John almost save the day, so they can't say we didn't try, however snarkily.

Anyway, please upvote this so I can get some steem.