A Responce To - Negative feedback spirals and how they eat your brain
Hi @dwinblood,
My response to your post is long so I thought I would make a post and just link it. I have a lot of questions and think it would show great character on your part if you checked out my response and made one back so your followers and myself can fully understand your position on this subject better.
I'm going to be going thru your post and posting quotes with my questions or points and then at the end I will add my main questions and thoughts. so thank you for reading my response and cant wait to hear back from you @dwinblood .
Negative feedback spirals and how they eat your brain... by dwinblood60 in philosophy
This day truly sucks! -{dwinblood}-
That sucks bruh, what's up?
I can't believe that happened.-{dwinblood}-
What happened? Do you think you could tell me about it?
I must tell you all about it.-{dwinblood}-
Cool bruh, you know I'm here for you whenever you need someone to talk to.
Then hopefully you are a good friend and blindly agree with me.-{dwinblood}-
I'll try to be a good friend but I will not blindly agree with anyone.
Come on bruh, this the homie skeptic you talking to.
I am no psyschologist.-{dwinblood}-
Yeah I think we all could have guessed that.
Not a big deal either unless your trying to pretend you are one.
But do go on.
I am simply a person that can make observations, ask questions, and form hypothesis.-{dwinblood}-
Yes, we all can do this but You forgot the part where next you go and research and do some experimentation and come up with some facts on why your hypothesis is correct or false. Without doing that your just someone running around talking imagination make believe.
This post is based around a hypothesis I currently operate under.-{dwinblood}-
You operate under a hypothesis? Why not facts, logic and reason?
I share it because it has been helpful to some people I have shared it with verbally.-{dwinblood}-
Thanks bruh, but when you going to tell me what happened that made the day so horrible for you? You just said you have to tell me about it.
Negative Feedback Spiral
Something that really upsets you and gets you down happens in your life.-{dwinblood}-
That sucks bruh, but its in the past.
You go over in your head how it happened, and why it happened and it truly does not feel fair.-{dwinblood}-
Life is not fair, learn from it so you can avoid it happening again.
You try to sleep, you try to move onto other things, but you keep getting drawn back into how life sucks at the moment.-{dwinblood}-
Life sucks, harden the fuck up. Your life is a dream compared to a 10yr old sex slave, or someone that has to preform donkey shows daily to be able to eat that night.
Why are you not being treated fairly?-{dwinblood}-
Shit, tell that to the donkey.
life is not fair. Deal with it, or don't. Up to you.
It eats at you and eats at you.-{dwinblood}-
what does? When are you going to tell me what happened and why it made your day suck?
"I'm so sorry that happened, that truly sucks." You then wander off.-{dwinblood}-
Maybe, that is all they can say to you if they have to blindly agree with you in order to be considered a friend to you?
My life sucks, and now I have friends corroborating how much my life sucks.-{dwinblood}-
Your really going to try to drag your friends into it? Sounds like all they are trying to do is help but don't know how to say anything to you without you getting more upset because they aren't blindly agreeing with you. If life sucks so bad, why not do something about it? Bitching and crying about it isn't going to fix anything.
I need to go onto facebook, steemit, reddit, twitter and talk to people about how my life sucks.-{dwinblood}-
You have not once talked about how it sucks. I am still waiting for what happened that made your day so horrible. and why do you feel the "need" to get on social media and cry about it?
In these places you'll have a lot of people that do not know the circumstances or have all the information relating to what caused your life to suck other than the parts you choose to share with them.-{dwinblood}-
You share nothing (like this post) but continue to cry about how life sucks(like this post) and also bitch about how people that try to help but can only say "I'm sorry that sucks" is making it worse? It's you not them.
They will become an "Echo-chamber" for your woes.-{dwinblood}-
If you will not say why you think your life sucks and expect everyone that you consider a true friend to blindly agree with you then yes, you are creating an echo chamber for yourself.
This spiral can be dangerous, and could result in you making decisions for the wrong reason, and it can even lead to suicide.-{dwinblood}-
what spiral?, all you did was cry about nothing because you wont say what happened or why life sucks. Now your trying to blame the wrong decisions you make on the fact that your "life sucks" to you? Why not take some responsibility for your life and actions?
(SIDE NOTE: If your going to kill yourself you should go to a professional because as @dwinblood said earlier "I am no psychologist" and is probably not the person to listen to if suicidal.)
I have seen many people get caught in these spirals.-{dwinblood}-
They need to harden the fuck up.
Often they are focused on one aspect of an event and do not truly look at the situation from a broader perspective.-{dwinblood}-
Outside perspective changes nothing. It is in the past. Learn from it and move on. Crying about it is not productive.
Are you ever going to talk about what happened that you said you "needed" to tell us about?
You've likely heard the saying "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence".-{dwinblood}-
Yes I have, but do not see how in any way how that has anything to do with why your life sucks. If you want the greener grass get off your ass and get it. Crying about how you wish your grass was greener or how it isn't as green as (insert name here) does nothing.
So what can you do?-{dwinblood}-
You can do anything, sit and cry about the spilled milk, get up and clean it up, get some new milk, roll around in the milk or drink it up off the floor if you want. you can do anything.
-smh- this is why people only tell you "that sucks, I'm sorry" and walk off.
Try to teach yourself to recognize when you are slipping into one of these Negative Feedback Spirals.-{dwinblood}-
Yes, learn to realize when your acting like a little bitch, then stop it! Nothing you have talked about once has anything to do with feedback.
If you can teach yourself to notice them, then you are in a position to defeat them.-{dwinblood}-
Is it that hard to not act like a little baby? It is not some great enemy you must defeat.
Here are a few things I recommend doing:
•Look for the silver lining. Is there anything you can say out loud that was good that happened around this event?-{dwinblood}-
Does it mater? It is in the past all you can do is learn from it and move on. How does trying to think of something positive (when there might not be) help or change anything in the past?
•If you can't find anything positive to say about this event. Find something positive to say about anything, and say it out loud. Do this many times if need be.-{dwinblood}-
LMFAO! How does loudly saying something positive over and over change anything?
( Fuck my wife died of cancer and she was only 23, I got that promotion last week, I got that promotion last week, I got that promotion last week, yep everything is better now. thanks Dr. dwinblood. ) -smh-
Why?-{dwinblood}-
Why what? Why anything and why wont you finally say what happened after saying you needed to talk about it.
If you are exercising your mind to find positive things to say it is too busy to continue the negative spiral.-{dwinblood}-
Trying to think about positive things is not exercising your brain. You can only think about one thing at a time? Why can't someone think about positive things to say and think about negative things at the same time?
If you deprive yourself of the deadly negative spiral long enough it gets easier and easier to break loose from it's deadly grasp.-{dwinblood}-
Yes, the sooner you stop acting like a pussy the easier it is to stop the bitching and crying.
One thing you can ask yourself early on that might help is simply this. "Is this one of those grass is always greener on the other side of the fence moments?"-{dwinblood}-
help with what? You have still not said.
How does "the grass is greener" play into any of this? All you have said is your life sucks because your life sucks and your depressed about being depressed. Bitching and crying about the grass someone else busted ass for does not help you get your grass greener.
If it is and you know it that might be all you need to confirm with yourself to break free from it's grasp.-{dwinblood}-
Depression because of wanting something or jealousy of something some one else has? Is that why you are saying your life sucks? Does not sound like a reason to be depressed or to think your life sucks to me. Sounds like your just throwing a fit like a 3yr old does. Some reality smashed in your face is all that is needed.
If it does not seem to be such a situation then the bullet points I mentioned above might help.-{dwinblood}-
What saying positive thing out loud over and over? -smh-
These types of spirals do truly eat our brains capacity....-{dwinblood}-
How the hell does it eat brain capacity?
Life (if you want to call it that) can begin to revolve around these negative spirals.-{dwinblood}-
What would you call it if not life?
You are choosing to make your life revolve around the negativity. You can not blame anyone or anything for your choice to make your life revolve around negativity.
It truly consumes a lot of your thought that could be put to so many better uses.-{dwinblood}-
You choose to let it consume you instead of taking action. It is in the past move on.
So in a sense it is eating your mind... Take your mind back!!-{dwinblood}-
You are choosing to be depressed. Nothing is eating your mind. Harden the fuck up. Crying never fixed anything.
I guess my main questions are:
What was the thing that happened that made this day suck, you never said?
At what point do you take responsibility for sitting around crying when you could be doing something to fix the problem your upset about?
If it is something in the past and there is nothing you can do to change what happened, why spend so much time not accepting it and learning from it to avoid it in the future?
Thanks a lot for your time and I really look forward to hearing back from you so you can fill me in on the stuff I don't understand.
This is a link to the original post if anyone wants to check it out.
https://steemit.com/philosophy/@dwinblood/negative-feedback-spirals-and-how-they-eat-your-brain
Hehe... nice response. I didn't mean to make you concerned. Those first couple lines were meant as a sub-title for the topic. I don't have anything negative going on with me at the moment, but I have heard things like what I wrote spoken many times in the past few months by others.
This negative spiral concept and how to get out of it was something I spoke to them about to help them pull out of it. Which was what this document was intended as. I do believe most people understood this when they read it based upon their comments. Though I do suppose this could concern some people. If you read my MEGA AMOUNTS of posts I don't think you'll find me whining. :) Yet you might not know that. ;)
SURE I do have problems in my life, but nothing I am dwelling on or spiraling on. Always financial problems. Though I have quite a few potential ways to pull myself out of those problems. (legally) :)
Hehehe - I am so sorry you read this as being about me. It is not. This is my explanation of how negative spirals can be a problem, and then offering some possible tools to help pull yourself out of them.
They have helped other people.
EDIT: I have edited my original post to add a note towards the top so hopefully no one else misinterprets my post as me making a cry for help. I'd not likely do that on the internet. I have a nice family support mechanism.
Thanks for the response. I'm glad something crazy didn't happen to you that made your day suck. if you get a chance and have some time to answer some of the questions I had I would be very grateful for it.
By the way this was a pretty cool and civil response. So if I misread you in how I felt you were going to the end of your blog post above, please accept my apology. It can be difficult to properly read sarcasm, and other things in what people write. Sometimes they read sarcasm and take it seriously, or take something serious as being satire.
I made this mistake badly with one person on steemit. He was talking about 666 in the symbol for steem and how he believed the world is flat. I had heard of flat earthers still being around, but I'd never encountered one before. I thought his post was a joke. I handled it poorly. Once I realized he was serious I apologized, he accepted, and then I went my way. Yes, I completely misread that post.
yeah most was sarcasm and satire. I know its hard to pick up through text.
:)
do you remember me? :)
Certainly. You would be the only person I have muted on steemit. :) That doesn't mean I wouldn't change my mind about that at some point. Yet if you think calling people fucking idiots and such will convince them of your intelligence and that you have much of worth to say you are sadly mistaken. IF on the other hand you were capable of civility then you indeed might have things worth listening to. Yet, I won't waste my time with people badgering and being uncivil.
The time you were "fucking with me" on @barrycooper's post the day before the one I muted you, I could tell you were fucking with me, and you were not out right being belligerent and aggressive. You once referred to yourself as "the little brown boy in the picture above".
Whether I choose to unmute you, or even bother to respond to you after this reply is totally in your court. If you think insults are your thing then you might as well not waste them on me. I'll ignore anything you say after that.
This response is me understanding that yesterday might have been a bad day for you. If that is true, we all have bad days, and I can understand that. I even hear you have some talent. I gathered it was in the field of music. If that is true then I actually probably would be interested as I am a huge fan of music. I was a dual music/physics major when I went to college. That doesn't mean I consider myself an expert. It does mean I am pretty into music though. ;)
So you decide. If you wish to treat me with civility, I will do the same to you. If not, that is your decision.
ok, I will treat you with civility if that is the way to open your ears,
now listen, you were wrong about me,
you write confusing stuff, as we can see above, do you blame me for that too?
Haha... no feel free to call me out on it. I always will welcome questions, debate, challenge, etc. Yet I will not respond or listen to insults. If you want to insult other people or even me in the future that is your choice. I simply see no value in it. If you avoid insults and have questions for me or about something I wrote then I will always try to answer them. I probably will be wrong some of the time, but I'll still try.
Sound fair?
And were you having a bad day yesterday or what?
EDIT: Also as to opening ears... observe people. See how responsive they are to you after you insult them. Insults close ears, and cause the person to cast up mental barriers to you. Wouldn't you rather be heard?
you dont answer questions, not even when they are presented with civility,
so why bother?
Skeptic - I now will address some of your other points.
I didn't forget it at all. I am not trying to prove anything or turn it into a theory. If I see someone struggling it is not like I stop, collect data, formulate an experiment, get a control subject, perform the experiment, and then try to help them. ;)
I am very familiar with the scientific method. Yet that does not mean we can always make it all the way through it in every situation. Thus, I clearly illustrated how far I had made it and labeled it as a hypothesis. This means I am very well aware it is speculation on my part.
This is the way you should be. Have you observed people in negative spirals anytime recently and realized how rare that is? What you said is what people should do. Instead they usually just act as "echo-chambers". I felt it important when discussing something that clearly falls in the realm of psychology that it was important that I mention I am no psychologist. Yet, in reality that simply means I do not go to classes, and I do not have a piece of paper. I do still pay a lot of attention to the way people think and react to things. I often make mistakes, though so do psychologists. :) When delving into an area with no data as you encounter it we OBSERVE, we QUESTION, and we form an HYPOTHESIS. Those are the steps of the scientific method. If we are intending to PROVE our hypothesis/speculation then we would push forward with a proper experiment. There are a vast number of cases where time and situation do not make this feasible. If I were interested in making a formal study and publishing in some journal this might indeed be something worth giving a proper experiment. If you're a psychologist and want to take a stab at it. Go for it. :) Then out of the blue you make that comment. That would seem to indicate that you understood completely what my article was about, yet you just wanted to be obstinate, fickle, etc. I mean I see your name is @skeptic. Yet skeptic doesn't have to mean jerk. I'm not saying this is WHAT you are doing here, but that item in parenthesis is throwing me off.My blog entry was a general post by me on what might happen with a negative spiral. It was not talking about any person in particular. The tricks I offered have helped others, but if you indeed make it to the suicidal thoughts stage you are well beyond the help those techniques might help with.
As to the rest Mostly you acting like you didn't understand the concept and seeming to take pleasure in being aggressive, hostile, and definitely not compassionate.
That is of course your choice. Yet I tell you now if that is how you choose to respond from this point on I won't bother answering.
I am fine with debating with people if they can be civil. If they cannot I don't waste my time. The ball is in your court.
Well I do not see any answers to the questions I asked. Just a bunch of question dodging.
All good if you don't want to back up your own statements.
As for understanding your post, I came back with more questions then answers after reading it.
The fact that I make a comment that suicidal people should talk to a pro because you state you are not one, upsets you? and there for is a reason to not respond to the questions?
If you would rather me take out all the fun and make you a list of questions without trying to make it enjoyable to read, I can do that if it would get you to answer.
Sorry if I have an opinion that differs from you about how to treat people that are bitching and crying to bitch and cry, but opposing opinions making you mad is not an argument for why you cant elaborate on your own statements.
I understand I can come off as a jerk. I'm ok with that.
Could be why I'm not depressed about being depressed and stuck in this "negative spiral" you talk about.
I had people tell me to stop acting like a little baby and harden the fuck up (and I am grateful for it). Might be more productive then coddling them like they are a little baby.
Like I said before if you want I can make a list of the questions so you don't have to see my cyber violence.
So I pass the ball back to you. Your move.......
Have a great evening even if you don't respond to the questions I had. xD
Most of your questions were asking me what I was whining about, as though I had a problem. I already explained that was me giving an example dialog like those I've heard quite a bit of lately, and even read a few times here and in steemit.chat.
So in that context most of your questions (you asked a lot of them) had no answer. They only had an answer IF I was talking about myself or an actual person. Since I was not most of them I could not answer.
So it was not so much question dodging. I believed I answered the questions I could identify as NOT being tied to me actually talking about myself or some particular person.
If I missed some in particular you will need to tell me what they were if you want them answered.
(Kind of feels like verbal tennis)
I am not depressed or in negative spirals either. I don't even have to think harden the fuck up. If I detect too much dwelling on negative things I tend to just dump it and say "fuck it" and move on with things I can actually do something about. :)
most of his questions were asking why are you so full of shit.....
thats it, and you cant answer that, cant you?
Ok, last one. xD
Thanks for the last response that was awesome.
At what point does the depressed person take responsibility for sitting around crying when they could be doing something to fix the problem they are upset about?
P.S. I was not sent by anyone. He is just someone that follows me that happens to have had a run in with you i guess.
P.P.S. it's not right to judge me by my followers, I have no control over any of them. they all are their own persons.xD
I wasn't judging you by him. He just decided to pop up and harass me on your post and I saw that you followed him so thought he might have done another one of his I hate this guy @dwinblood posts. Yesterday it was @stellabelle and @beanz.
So I did not JUDGE you by him. If I did, I wouldn't have bothered responding to you. :) I judge people by themselves. It was just curious how fast he latched onto me when I came to check your post. :)
That's not really for me to say. I pretty much take responsibility all of the time. So I don't understand why so many people don't. If I had my way it would be as soon as they realized what they are doing. I cannot however force everyone to think like you, or to think like me.So it is not really that I am dodging this question. I just don't really have an answer for it.
I think you do not quite understand what is being said to you,
or you are a hypocrite, or
in the last case, a very unintelligent person (eg a fucking idiot)
Ce' La Vie.
no, thats not life, life is not a fucking idiot nor a hypocrite, nor barely literate,
YOU are one of those things
:) is this why steem is at 90 cents now?
Maybe, this is a top paying post. So this is the pinnacle of quality on steemit. lol
dude, you are killing me, I love this
:D
Skeptic, honestly,
my hats off for you
Thank you! :D
Thank You
I'll pass this "person" back to you now.
have fun
So you asked I think 29 questions that I can see. I'm trying to see how many of them actually had something that is answerable within the context of this was not about me or an actual person. I'll follow up if I find any of the sort I did not answer.
I'll just type them out in a nice little list so they are easy to read and respond to.
he needs a spreadsheet
I already went through them and responded to the relevant few with question marks that I missed.
Well I wrote out the list (its above this reply)
I didn't see you answered a couple questions while I was writing the list cause, yeah....... I was writing out the questions again.
It is there incase you would like to answer the questions.
If you want me to edit out the questions you did answer please let me know. If you don't say to remove them I will leave them in.
Have a great evening and thanks again for taking the time to deal with me. xD
I will say if you like engaging with me do it because you want to, not because I muted @feminism. I didn't know if he sent you after me, or you found me on your own.
I do not mind people being SKEPTICS. It is pretty important. If I feel like we are going around in circles I'd likely stop responding. I don't think that is the case yet though.
Oh and I just finished responding to your revised list. Thanks, many of those were phrased in a way I could actually answer them. I didn't answer the ones I already answered before. Actually I did answer the Operating off of a hypothesis, and the logic and reason ones again. I had already answered those on my second post to you.
lol I was not sent by anyone, I went thru the trending list basically. Your post stood out and after reading it I had a lot of questions. so I asked.
Last response I made the person is ignoring so I am very grateful you took the time to answer.
I honestly have a lot more questions after reading the post that I said was amazing (it was)but I feel at this point I have taken more then a deserved amount of your time.
Thanks again.
Anytime... keep it civil and I'll always try to give you time unless life is using my time for something else. Though you have to make me a deal.
Next time you need to answer some questions too. I learn the most from debating/discussing/arguing with people who disagree with me. Yet I don't learn so much if I'm the only one answering questions. :)
Think on that a bit and hit me up next time. I did post another post today that is doing well. Actually I've had whales vote on some of my comments to other people before, yet my posts that doesn't tend to happen until today.
I don't really care about that though. I just write about many different topics. Some of them would be WAY more up your alley to challenge than this one.
The Ghost one I posted a few days ago, or the Esoterica one before that.
I tend to stay in the realm of SCIENCE for most things. I am a skeptic as well. Yet if I encounter things I can't explain and science can't yet explain it to me I don't pretend it is not there. I just don't know what it is. So I won't go making a religion up about it or telling people THIS AND THIS is what it is. All I know is I observed or experienced something I can't explain. I can come up with a new hypothesis per hour to fictionally explain it. That doesn't mean I believe my hypothesis. I am skeptical of a lot of the things I think about. :)
Yet I don't let that stop me from thinking about them anyway. I don't believe something just because I think about it.
Signing off for the night... take care.