Stella.. The will to live

A new year. It always makes one contemplate the past, the future and ones life.The questions come to mind, " What shaped our lives this year?" and "Was this year moving forward or backward from the year before?'

last year, I have retired from working for a rescue. This year, I started my own rescue. I find that I have been remembering my most memorable moments, the ones that left me with epiphanies that I will take to the grave. The real things; instances that were not appropriate for media but were in their own right astounding; as in the story of Stella.

We, meaning the humane investigations department of Humane Society of North Texas, got a call from a county animal control department. A horse had been discarded and thrown in a ditch to die. A horse we will come to name Stella. She was a bay Thoroughbred mare, about 12 years old. Her body score ( a term to determine the weight condition of a horse) was a 1, maybe a 1.5. She had been lying in a ditch , covered in fire ants for an undetermined amount of time.

Just for some horse 101, to fully understand the dire state of Stellas' situation, horses cannot lay on their side for extended amounts of time. It causes all kinds of bad things to happen... circulation is crucial to a horse.. and there is that huge intestinal system that needs room to work.. The longer they lay, the more difficult it is to get up.
So to continue on to the story...

Penny, a co-worker, went to get Stella. She came back with a horse in a home made sling.. ingeniously engineered I might add. ( And we have already established.. .horses: better when they are standing up. ) When she arrived at the barn, we attempted to unload her.. but that was short lived. She could not bear her weight.

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Dawn and I, by God's good grace had company at the barn. So we did have help, but it was not enough. I called the local Kubota tractor dealer and they came down and helped us pick Stella up with a tractor. While Stella was on the ground she was not resigned to stay. She was fighting to get up. While we were waiting for the tractor, we got a bucket of water and put a small amount of alfalfa hay in it. She was doing her best to get to the soaked alfalfa... resembling the appetite of an alligator! She was fighting, so we were going to fight for her.

We did get Stella up and moving. Put her in a sling we made until we could find one to purchase or rent. We put her in a stall and the process of re- feeding began.

We called our vet out, we ordered a sling, we posted on facebook and things went viral. People would come by the barn to get selfies with Stella. She had good days, and she had some bad days. About the 10th day of a re-feed, you kind of hold your breath. If things are going to go south.. that is usually the time frame it happens.... And it happened.

Stella had been steadily improving her weight. And it was time to start weaning her off the sling. She had stayed up and we felt pretty good about it, so we took it off. First night, We checked on her every two hours. and in the morning she was still up. Then she laid down. We could not get her up.

We had the help of a community service worker that week. He was so great at helping hoist Stella, take her off for her walks, helping us clean her and her stall. He spoke broken English, and was probably in in late 40's early 50's. He was a quiet man and a hard worker. He was with us in the barn that day. Just for the sake of story flow , we will call him Carlos.

Carlos was in the stall with us, waiting for Dr. Manuchi to draw the euthanize shot. We call it blue juice. Carlos, who had not spoken 10 words to us all week while he worked, took a deep breath. looking down on Stella, he said, " Once, I wanted to die. I shot myself and tried to die. But it was not my time to die, and it is not your time to die either"

With that he took the end of the lead rope and gave her a big pop on the ass and she raised her head, gave him the most intimate stare, and rose up all at once ; just as Dr. Manuchi came through the stall door with the needle of blue juice.
Who knew that Carlos had tried to throw his life away and then watched Stella fight for hers' all week. What kind of clarity and closure did this moment provide for Carlos?

Dawn and I were privy to witness this most private and miraculous moment between this man and this horse. It chills me to the bone to even think about it today. The enormity of how our lives impact those around us, the confirmation that nothing is an accident and the unequivocal knowledge that God is present in all of it, still today washes through me each time I share this story.

Stella still lives at HSNT as a resident and a reminder to everyone who meets her that evil exist and good prevails.