Christian trail
Benchmark: Your Wife is a Project in your Hands!
"...That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word...." Ephesians 5:25-27, KJV
Some months into our marriage, a CEO of an advertising agency, where my wife briefly worked after she relocated to Ibadan, complained bitterly on phone to me against My-own-Mercy! For over 20 minutes, she spoke about my wife's late-coming attitude and the attendant issues. And I must confess, it is a major issue I had been having with her, since our courtship. Not knowing what to say, because her boss really had a case, I managed to mutter these words ad libitum: "Ma, Mercy is a project in my hands; I am still working on her. Please ma, forgive me for all her sins." The CEO, impressed by my words, told my wife thereafter that she married her true husband. She is a mother to us till date.
Those words, I must admit, were not mine. I believe the Holy Spirit put them in my mouth, for I was never prepared for such. If so, I have to search the Scriptures to find their reference. In my little study, I got some understanding in the above verses. When Christ gave Himself to the Church, it was with a goal - That He might present her to Himself a glorious Church, in all her beauty (vs 27). How would Christ achieve that? He would "SANCTIFY and CLEANSE it with the washing of water by the word." (vs 26). For Christ to see beauty and glory in His wife (the Church), tirelessly He must 'wash' her with the Word. Every Christian husband must do the same with his wife.
The words "sanctify", "cleanse" and "washing" are synonymous, and they obviously suggest that the woman has deficiencies (just as the husband also has). They simply mean to "make free from sin or guilt; purge of an ideology, bad thoughts etc; to remove dirt and sediment." Sir, do you want to see the beauty of God in your wife? Stop complaining about her; please do your job first! God, in the first place, did not give you a finished product. Even if you married her a Reverend Professor, she is still a project in your hands. The Lord expects you to work on her with His Word, purging her of every sediment. Your wife is your Portion in this life, live joyfully with her and bring the best out of her (Eccles 9:9).
Please pore over this: "Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church--a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her," (vs 25-26, MSG). This message is clearer for me, as a husband. In my love for My-own-Mercy, I must go all out - even if it means giving my life in her stead; that is what Christ did for the Church. My words are meant to evoke (call forth, draw out) her beauty. What I do or say in the home must be designed to bring the best out of her. Oh Lord, how can I pretend that I am living up to the benchmark? Please, help me, show me mercy; make me Your replica, an ideal husband.
Any Christian brother who is not ready to live by this benchmark the Scriptures have presented to us, should never have considered marriage in the first place. And blessed and most fortunate is that husband, whom the Lord so reveals His Word about marriage to and he is willingly ready to pay the sacrifice, not excusing things out by the system that operates in the world! Peace of mind shall never elude him; his home shall deliver the purpose for which the Lord has established it. The point is, whatever "spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing blemish" that is seen in your wife, is your failure. It is your onerous duty to present her "holy and without blemish" to people (vs 27). So do your path, and you will be glad for the rest of your life. It is time we reduced, in the Church, the numbers of wailing husbands. Let every man rise to his responsibility under God, and set the benchmark. Marriage is sweet when we follow the Author's manual.