Life and the Abrahamic God

Eat a bag of dicks, Elohim.

Look into the pages of the book millions of people are blindly following, and you will come to see that this "god" person is nothing more than a shisha inspired daydream form three or four different guys writing about their trippy experiences.

If you look at it from an outsider's perspective, you may come to find that it's really just a bedtime story for the sheeple.

Sure, the Bible has some great ideas, and a few oddly inspirational messages worked into it, but, what it doesn't have is clandestine proof that the Lord Almighty really, truly exists.

Abraham was most likely schizophrenic. He was willing to kill his own son... I'll say that again for emphasis... Abraham was willing to kill his own flesh and blood spawn... Because of a disembodied voice that only he could hear.... Now, tell me that's not just a little sketch.

Another thing that really grinds my hears is the depiction of this "Jesus" person. Here. we have a man born in Bethlehem from a "virgin"... (I have a rant about that. But I'll save it for later.)

Bethlehem, if you didn't know, is in the Middle East. Israel, to be exact... What color does Jesus usually get depicted as? White. What color are people from Israel? Brown. Methinks there be a mix-up somewhere. Are we sure Mary was the only pregnant woman in that barn? Because, I'm thinking babies were switched.

Oh, they weren't? Shocker there. Whitewashing a deity. How low can people sink?!

But, of course, you'll blame it on the witch. Putting the blame on her assuages your own guilt and lets you live a happy lie.

Why not just admit it's all a crock of shit and be done with it. Oh! I know! It's because they like using it to judge people.

At the end of the day, it boils down to this. You can shrink down any religious text to four words: "Don't be a dick."

But it's alright, and it's okay. I don't believe it anyway.