This is the fourth, of a hopefully weekly series, that explores faith, religion, and Christianity. The idea is to share with you my faith, issues I am working on, and to promote discussion.

In middle school I was an awkward kid.

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Please check out the previous discussions:

Disparity on Display
This discussion takes a look at disparity and injustice and proposes guidance on a response.

Comfort and Contentment
This post examines my struggle with the differences between being content and being comfortable.

Testify
This post documents part of my journey that lead me from being an enemy of God to being saved by Jesus Christ.

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I was short and self-conscious about it.

I spent a ton of time by playing games by myself in my room or on the computer.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have friends, see Steve above for evidence, it was just that I spent a lot a time alone.

And when you spend too much time alone, you get weird.

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Image Credit: someecards.com

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My early history in the church involved me going to “big church” at an early age.

I don’t recall ever actually attending Sunday School as a kid.

However, I went to the regular church service, aka “big church”, where I spent most of my time doodling on the handout and partially listening to the preacherman tell some story about his life.

Or at least that is about what I remember...

Also, every week they would ask new people to raise their hands.

That’s weird.

But I always wanted to raise my hand.

My parents wisely told me not to because we weren't new.

Without a foundation in Sunday School none of the church stuff meant much to me.

Not that it would have anyways…

As I got older I become more and more opposed to religion.

By the time I got to Middle School I went to Youth Group but I never felt like I fit in.

I would talk to some kids, but for the most part I didn’t participate much and I didn’t like to talk in the breakout groups.

One time they had us eat cat food as part of a game and I was upset about it for a long time afterwards.

As time went on I grew more disconnected and felt more alone.

I didn’t like going and didn’t really pay much attention to what was being taught.

Eventually I stopped going altogether.

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One positive thing that came from my awkward Middle School Youth Group experience was that we would sing praise and worship songs.

We sang three particular songs every week, to the point that I basically memorized them by heart.

As an adult I wouldn’t place these on the top of any chart for “best worship music”, but more on that in a minute.

We routinely would sing “Sanctuary” that starts “Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary / Pure and holy, tried and true...”, “Step by Step” that starts “Oh God You are my God / And I will ever praise You...”, and a variation of Psalm 139:23-24 that went something like “Search me, Lord, and know my heart / Try me, and know my anxious ways...”.

Although I wouldn’t list these as my favorite songs as far as music goes, they are tops when it comes to actually praise and worship.

The messages are simple, yet rich.

Far too often, upon returning to church in my early 20’s, I have been very critical of the music in church worship.

From this, I have come to realize it was a direct reflection of the state of my heart.

The act of judging music isn’t wrong.

It is that in having a critical spirit, I was missing the point.

The purpose of praise and worship music is to exalt the Lord, not to please my taste.

The Bible is rife with examples of praising God in song, prayer, word and deed.

“Sing to God! Sing praises to His name.
Exalt Him who rides on the clouds —
His name is Yahweh—and rejoice before Him.”

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I’m not a great singer. I wouldn’t even go as far as to call myself a good singer...

Again, when I was younger, I was discouraged from singing because I was self-conscious about it. Also I think one of my sister’s teased me about it and so I just kinda gave up on it.

As an adult, it seems as if several other people have given up on it also.

Standing silent as the church sings.

I have been there.

Now I love to sing praise and worship songs, but don’t get to.

It wasn’t until I started working on Sunday mornings that I realized how much I miss getting the opportunity to praise the Lord in song in fellowship with other believers.

Although my singing hasn’t improved, my attitude towards worship has done a complete 180.

Now that I am a slightly less awkward adult, I want to encourage people to make the most of the time they have when it is the “praise and worship time” at church.

Don’t just stand there, even if you can’t sing “make a joyful noise unto God”!

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If this relates to you and you are interested in knowing more, please ask someone. Me. My wife. A local pastor. A neighbor you know who is a Christian. But please ask and I guarantee you that they will be excited to tell you more. They will especially appreciate that you asked them so that they are not forcing their beliefs upon you but getting your permission to share. It may even be something they have been praying for.

Lord willing, see you all next Sunday!

Thanks,
@strangerarray

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Written by Michael Paine

Please follow me, @stragerarray, to keep up to date with my other fiction, non-fiction, and other post.

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