Not sure if it's helpful, but here's my own story of Losing Eternity. For me, it came down to what you want your epistemology to be (i.e. your mechanism for having justified belief). Should it be based on eyewitness testimony and personal experience? If so, how should we respond to the demonstrable lack of reliability and the provable ways our minds fail us here? I worked in ministry for 6 years and was definitely a "true believer."