Being lazy
Lately I’ve been brooding about the fact that I lost that special sense of being alive I experienced once I began to believe that I would survive my cancer. I don’t want to take life for granted, yet I do. I have this feeling that I should be embracing life, living large. Yet, I spend my weekends sitting here, listening to my favorite music, feeling gentle breezes blow in the window as they cause the palm trees out back to gracefully sway too and fro. And, of course, I’m quite often stoned.
Instead of embracing life, I just sit here and enjoy the warm peace in being alone and doing as I please. Ah, the freedom to sit and do nothing, if only I could turn off those voices of my parents that are still in my head and telling me to GET UP AND DO SOMETHING!!! One would think that after reaching 75 I could finally relax without feeling guilty about it.
Great
Yes. Sometimes the best way to embrace life is to "sit here and enjoy the warm peace in being alone and doing as I please." I find that I lose that "sense of being alive" when I get lost in busyness, which is all too often.
Every once in a while I just sit for a while and think. Some of my friends think that makes me nuts :-), but I prefer to consider it to be a purely human activity.
An essential human activity. I have a young child and sometimes when he is going to sleep I lay down next to his bed until he falls asleep. Sometimes I drift into sleep, sometimes I just have some time with my thoughts. I really enjoy this time. Such a vital (non)activity but one a rarely find time for until it is demanded of me by a toddler. He teaches me many things that I have forgotten.
I didn't know you had cancer Lorenzo. I'm sorry to hear that. But I'm glad to know you're surviving it. What kind is it?
I know exactly what you mean about being lazy. I get that nagging feeling that I haven't done anything all day quite a bit. Sometimes it's even after I've worked all day. And my parents weren't particularly naggy about that kind of stuff, so it must just be genetic or something.
Thanks for asking. I'm actually now a cancer survivor. In 1996 I was diagnosed with prostrate cancer (which had killed my father when he was only 63). So I had surgery and have been cancer free ever since :-). The way I see it now is that I'm 12 years past my family's normal "expiration date" :-). You see, my younger brother also died of cancer at the age of 63. So every day seems like a gift to me . . . which it is for all of us, even though we sometimes forget that little fact.
Well, I'm glad you survived! This world is better with you in it.
hey lorenzo
yes i had to learn how to do nothing.
keep practicing, every chance you get, and you will get the hang of it hahahahah cheers
a lot of people may smile when we say that it's hard to goof off without any guilt about it, but, as you know, it can actually become an art form if done properly :-)