Why Hannah is Single

Hannah Witton is a YouTube personality who I came across by random browsing, which is something I do a lot since I basically live in YouTube.

She's a typical millennial, modern semi-feminist white girl and there's nothing about her or her content that really interests me.

Other than a video of hers from 2016 that I came across where she talked about being single for five and half years - despite wanting desperately to be in a relationship.

Out of interest, I clicked on it because even though she's not really my type, it's not like she's a mutant, so something has to be terribly wrong if she's been unwillingly single for five and a half years.

Basically, any woman between her 20s and her 30s, who's not horribly deformed in some way - and sometimes, even if they are - can get a guy if they want. Any woman. This fact is dictated simply by the law of supply and demand.

If a woman in her 20s has been single for five years despite her best efforts, it's usually a giant fucking red flag. There is something horribly wrong with her personality, there's no other explanation.

So, let's see what she had to say in her video about being single for five and a half years.

First of all, why does she want a boyfriend?

The lack of someone to lay everything on. To be like "This happened and this happened and this happened".

It sure didn't take long to find the first problem. Hannah sees her life partner as someone she can whine and complain to. To, like she herself put it, lay everything on. Her partner is someone who's obligated to carry all of her problems and then fix them. That sounds healthy. I wouldn't be surprised if Hannah has never spent a minute thinking what it is that she could offer to someone in a relationship. It's all about what she wants from the guy.

Do I ever have moments when I think no one wants to be with me? Yes, I do have those feelings. It's been five and a half years. I feel up to three years it's like "Woo, single, isn't this great!" But now I'm like "Wait, is there something wrong with me?".

Obviously, there's something wrong with her. And it's probably her expectations. I wouldn't call her ugly by any means. She even seems pretty sweet, and, albeit not a brain surgeon, definitely doesn't seem like she's stupid. There has to be something she's actively doing wrong since the only way a woman can stay single in her 20s is by actively doing something wrong. This is a fact. In order to find a partner, a woman doesn't even have to do anything, the men will do the work. So, sorry to break it you, Hannah, but yes, I think there's something wrong.

There are so many people who never find The One and never settle down.

Ah, knew it! "The One". See, this is what so many women like Hannah are doing wrong: they're like Morpheus in the Matrix, obsessing over finding The One. In the Matrix, Neo was a mythical being that was destined and prophecised to free people from the Matrix and lead humanity to victory over the machines.

Of course, those of us who watched the entire trilogy and paid attention, know that Neo was never The One and that The One was never meant to free humans from anything. The One was simply a construct created by the machines to lure humans into a sense of false hope, which would eventually lead to more control.

I think that the concept of The One in today's modern dating world works a lot like Neo did in the Matrix when you think about it.

Women like Hannah who chase after The One are not actually looking for a partner; they're living out a fantasy that's not true. The One is fiction, and women have been tricked to create their own unhappiness by fantasizing about The One. Finding a partner is much different from finding The One - someone obsessing over the latter will never accomplish the former.

Or have lots of Ones.

Wait, lots of Ones? Hannah, one means one. As in 1. As in less than two. This proves my point. The concept of The One isn't even literal to these women. It's just a fairytale character that exists solely in their heads. It has nothing to do with the real world. The problem that it brings is the fact that no existing man will ever be good enough because he will never be The One. And that's why these women will be single forever.

Do I ever worry that I've found myself while single to the extent that I won't be able to fit another person in? Yes! This speaks to me! I have my life, I have my routine. I know the things that I enjoy and I'm super busy in terms of work, and social life, and hobbies. When I think practically, in terms of time, of fitting someone in... what?

Dear Hannah, there's a word for that. It's "self-centered". Not the first and foremost quality men look for in a woman. And hey, if you're self-centered, be self-centered. But why are you making a video wondering why you've been single for over five years if on the video you list all of the things that prevent you from finding a boyfriend? If you're not willing or able to compromise, why would any men put up with your shit? For what possible reason? There are lots of better women out there who are not self-centered bitches. What is it that you could offer those men? Nothing.

That being said, I feel like if I meet someone who I really, really want to be with, I will make those sacrifices and I will compromise on my commitments and my time. That's always a big sign for me: If I'm not willing to sacrifice some of the things that I already have, I clearly don't like that person enough to be in a serious relationship with them.

And again, there's her problem. This goes back to chasing The One. She assumes that a guy like that exists, and all she has to do is wait for him to show up. But, of course, he won't. She refuses to give anybody a chance, and to put in this in crypto terms, she's like someone who only buys a coin she imagines will go up forever, and then she dumps at the first sign of a red market, instead of deciding to work on it and hodl.

Her expectations are unrealistic, and she's creating all of these problems on her own.

Hell, I live in Finland and my girlfriend lives in California. And here's Hannah telling me it's hard for her to give up on a few hobbies for a second in order to work on her relationship. Really? And she's wondering why she's single.

Maybe I should give people a chance and compromise before I know if I'm into them that much.

Yes. It's called working on a relationship. I bet Hannah's already met several guys she could have been happy with, but she pushed them away and now they've found someone better.

Here's the thing. I'm 24, and unless someone absolutely perfect comes along, why would I make them a priority?

I don't even have to say anything. And, like I said, be that way, but don't waste a second wondering why it is that you'll never find anyone and die alone. If that's what you want, great. But it clearly isn't what Hannah wants, she desperately wants to be in a relationship, but she's doing everything in her power to prevent that from happening.

That's a harsh thing to say. I just heard that come out of my mouth. Nobody's perfect.

It's funny how she herself then even goes to realize, on camera, why she's single. By accident.

There's something else that women like Hannah don't get about The One.

Let's say that The One is the perfect being, the perfect man. The top of the top. The absolute best. Let's say he exists.

Why would he settle for you? Why would he give you the time of day? Men like that probably don't even date, they hook up with a new 19-year old every Friday and Saturday night at the nightclub.

There's no reason for him to even contemplate a relationship with you. What possible reason would the perfect guy have to date you and commit to you? There is none.

Especially since women like Hannah are so self-centered without even realizing it. Never willing to actually work on a relationship. They just expect it to be like a movie and happen on its own. It's because these people are millennials: working on something is eww, so, therefore, a relationship can't be perfect if it takes work. It never does in the movies, right?

A have a few female friends like this, and not that it's any of my business whether or not they're single, but considering that they whine about it all the time, I often do want to slap them in the face and tell them the things I have just expressed about Hannah here.

A common argument they use is my relationship with my late girlfriend, which they describe as so beautiful and so perfect and all that - and it was - but since they're so dumb, they think it just happened by accident, and didn't take years of work to get to where it was.

Stupid millennials. Millennials really are the single generation, destined to be alone and miserable. And I put the blame on Hollywood - even though the blame falls on these women, as well, for being too stupid to realize why fiction is fiction and not the real world.

But hey, whatever.