Narrowminded Views #3 - As Much As Lieth in You - Understanding Relational Responsibility, And It's Effects On Fellowship And Prayer

narrowminded (58)in #relationships • 8 years ago

Have you ever gotten to the point where you’re sick of being “the Christian” in life’s endless situations? If you have, you should know that you’re not alone.

You should also know that there really is no other option.

Through the redemptive blood of Jesus Christ, by the will of God the Father, and via the indwelling of the Holy Spirit you have been called according to the highest calling available to mankind.

You have become a child of the one, true God, and the responsibility therein is massive.

Indeed “…narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life…” (Matthew 7:14) and “…the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other…” (Galatians 5:17).

Though we are given much room for active obedience, it seems that much more room for disobedience exists, especially when we consider that “…to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin” (James 4:17).

Certainly our options are limited.

Often in my Christian life, I have come to the realization that the sins of another do not justify mine.

Despite the temptations created by the actions or attitudes of another, still God “…will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able…” (1 Corinthians 10:13) to resist.

We know that this remains a fact, especially when we realize that “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

Simply put, we have no excuse for our willful sins, despite the enticing or provoking that we may be subjected to. God will always empower us to fulfill the things He has called us to so long as we are willing to allow Him to.

The responsibility that we have is incredible for many reasons, but I will mention just three now.

First, it is because of the knowledge which we have. Ignorance justifies no one, but when one acts contrary after revelation is given unto him, the judgment increases. Since we know, we must act according to knowledge, for we cannot petition ignorance to our defense.

We are left with either obedience or defiance; those two alone.

Secondly, it is the power within us through the Holy Spirit that leaves us with increased accountability. If one is powerless in a situation, much cannot be expected of him. The resources are simply not there to succeed.

However, if one has the power required to accomplish all that is necessary, then he is left with no logical defense for failure. Whether we are entrusted with knowledge or power, “…it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful” (1 Corinthians 4:2).

The third reason that we are called to such responsibility is the One who called us, God.

It is He whom we serve, emulate, and represent, and that is no small thing.

“Now then we are ambassadors for Christ…” (2 Corinthians 5:20), which is why such knowledge and power has been given to us. Without it, we would be impotent and useless in fulfilling the Lord’s calling for our lives.

As Paul sorts through the various relationships we have in Romans 12, he records the following command.

“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12:18)

“If it be possible” is a much needed introduction to this command, qualified by “as much as lieth in you.”

Newer translations lean towards “as much as depends upon you” (NKJV), or some similar phrasing, which conveys some of the same concept, in pointing to our responsibility.

The King James, however, seems to carry the meaning deeper, pointing to that which “lieth in you.”

Though I cannot state that this is the intent in this passage, it certainly is profitable to consider Whom is “in you” when understanding your responsibility here, for the Holy Spirit not only increases the knowledge and power that we possess, but He also grants us potential for victory where otherwise there would be none.

The peace to be strived for when attempting to “live peaceably with all men” may never be able to be reached. This shortcoming though must be due to the other person, and not be charged to our account.

Some may simply not allow forgiveness or reconciliation, and we cannot force them to.

We must therefore keep Romans 12:18 in mind as we consider other Scriptures.

For instance, Matthew 5:23-24 states, “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”

Here we are told that one must “first be reconciled to thy brother” before one is allowed to “bring thy gift to the altar.” Obviously we know longer offer gifts unto the Lord at the altar, but the principle remains.

The relationship that one has with the Lord can be affected by our relationships with others, and His willingness to accept our offerings, whatever they may be, can be hindered based on how we are interacting with others.

Since it is “thy brother” here who “hath ought against thee,” forgiveness towards the offender should be offered “…Until seventy times seven…” (Matthew 18:22) times. However, if the offended brother will not forgive thee, then the principle needs to become “as much as lieth in thee,” “first be reconciled to thy brother.”

The sin of one, (refusal of forgiveness by the offended brother), must not be allowed to cause a schism in the relationship that the willing-to-be-reconciled brother has with God.

The forgiveness of God will still be received by the offender for the offense committed against the other, even if the other refuses to choose to forgive.

The relationship that the unforgiving offended brother has with the Lord will be negatively affected, but the repentant offender’s relationship will not.

This same principle needs to be applied to the Christian marriage as well. For years I had unfortunately believed that if my wife and I were not currently at peace one with another, then the Lord would not hear my prayers.

This came from an improper understanding of 1 Peter 3:7, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them [your wives] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers not be hindered.”

Somehow I understood this to mean that if there was not peace in the home, my prayers would be hindered.

Many times I would strive for rapid reconciliation, within a timeframe unacceptable to my wife, thinking that if forgiveness was not reached and harmony not restored, it would greatly hinder my connection with my Lord. Needless to say, attempting to force reconciliation with an offended wife is a futile endeavor, almost always adding to the contention at hand.

However, I have desperately made such attempts at times, especially when the matter seemed most pressing. If we were on our way to a prayer meeting, for example, I would reason that all purpose in my presence at the prayer meeting would be utterly defeated due the Lord not be willing to listen to my prayers, since I was not at peace with my wife.

Thankfully, I will now be able to avoid much added suffering in the future due to a more proper understanding of this issue.

The husband in the 1 Peter passage is commanded to “dwell with” his wife “according to knowledge” so his “prayers” will “not be hindered.”

Since I assume some understanding by all those reading of exactly what principles, actions, and attitudes fit into the category of “according to knowledge,” I will move forward and state that “as much as lieth in thee” you must honorably and appropriately dwell with your wife, or your prayers will indeed be hindered.

If you have done all that is in your control to be forgiving, seek forgiveness, and love your wife despite whatever unfortunate attitude or mentality she may currently be expressing, then your prayers will not “be hindered,” though added prayer requests may be available.

Too often I have observed myself and others not allowing room for the Holy Spirit to work.

He is drawing nonbelievers and leading believers, and we must leave room for His ministry. We cannot force our brother or sister to act in accordance with the will of God, for such is not our responsibility.

Exhortations and encouragements must be carefully offered, and admonishment should be driven by much love and properly delivered, but we cannot force. Likewise a husband must lead by loving example.

He must not become a spiritual dictator, forcing the obedience of his wife, for such, if even outwardly successful, does not accomplish the will of God within her.

When dealing with our offended brethren or Christian spouses, the common ground at the foot of the cross gives us great hope for suitable reconciliation.

After all, we have the same Father, the same Bible by which we live, and the same Spirit indwelling us.

Though such close relationships as these may increase the ache that broken fellowship brings, actual longsuffering should not be common. It is more likely that lengthy suffering will manifest itself within relationships with unsaved family members or friends.

Fortunately for us, we serve a God of love, reconciliation, and forgiveness.

They, however, do not.

Point blank, they remain of their “father the devil” (John 8:44), who remains in direct opposition to our Heavenly Father.

The “as much as lieth in you” principle is a foremost key to remember when dealing with the lost. Additionally, to properly respond to the hatred, animosity, persecution, and slander that the unregenerate may direct in our direction, we must not forget that such is not actually coming from them, but instead through them.

The origin of this loathing actually originates with the opposition, Satan and the demons, though it easily dwells within those who remain slaves to sin.

Still, to avoid pride, we must also bear in mind that the love and forgiveness Christians are supposed to have towards their enemies does not originate with us either. This comes from our Lord and is supposed to flow through us.

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches; He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.” (John 15:4-5)

Hopefully, you have not suffered to the degree that we have due to having some misinterpretation of any of the passages mentioned.

Let us move forward leaving room for the ministry of the Holy Spirit and focusing on our individual intimacy with God.

“Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus, Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.” (Hebrews 10:19 & 22)

2+2=4

Thanks, @narrowminded