How to Date Someone Who Identifies as a Minister.

in #relationships2 years ago
  1. Know that they already have an audience and you don't. This means that in that community they will wield more influence and control the narrative. Should things go south you'll be the villain, even if in fact you're the victim. They're renown, and beloved, and they're servants of God. Only a very small minority of people can peer behind the mask and see what the person is like.

The meaning of all this? The moment you date this kind of person avoid getting caught up in their work and focus on their real character. Also, maintain your community. At work remain involved in your groups. Keep your circles alive and active, in as far as your schedule can allow. Join women or men groups as a person without any titles. These things keep you connected and grounded. Do not become a celebrity. Real life is easier when you're lowly and light.

Never allow your whole life to be swallowed by your partner's world.

  1. They don't put the church titles in front.
    They approach you as a person, not a minister. Actually they discourage you from viewing them through that lenses all the time. Their life is wider than just their job. They also have a personal and emotional life, and financial life. They're looking to bring you into their personal life and they want to connect with you there.

Anyone coming at you with jargon and scriptures and prophecies is a con. True ministers are men and women of integrity. They know how to switch roles. When they come to their personal life, or when you meet at the market place, you can't tell whether they're preachers. They're versatile and adaptable.

  1. Check if they're marrying for themselves or for the ministry.
    In other careers you can grow yourself first then marry later, but in church work some positions require you to be married. So someone may be marrying primarily with their career in mind. So they'll marry you and forget about you.

  2. Make sure you were won by their integrity and their personality, never because of their fire or anointing.
    What God bragged about Job to Satan was not his fire or charisma, but simply his integrity. He was devout, and he was a man of character. That's all. It's summarised as 'A man who loved God and eschewed evil.' That's your marking scheme. Other things can be a talent and fire of youth.

For Brothers, stop falling for sisters because she sang so well until you felt goosebumps. Singing or playing instruments may just be talent. Always try to discern the person behind the persona.

  1. Sunday is just one day in a week. How do they live the other six? Find out. Some people are very disorganised and lazy, and if you marry them you'll carry all the weight. They work on Sunday and then they rest until Friday!

  2. Do not assume that all people in church or ministry are celibate or virgin. Find out. Many are usually coming to offload the guilt of the bad things they did during the week so that they can start afresh on Monday. Some people will never mature. But if the age for marriage comes they'll happily cooperate for you to marry them but in reality they're empty.

  3. You don't have to become a public figure too. You can remain a private citizen and that's very okay. It doesn't mean you're not supportive. You don't have to sit up there if you're not comfortable with it. In fact, when you're in the crowds you can gauge more accurately what is going on and be the ear for your partner.

  4. Do not forsake your own passions, do not get swallowed in their career.
    Balance your roles as their supporter and as a separate individual well. You don't have to put their name forward. Let the world experience what you have to offer without associating you with your partner.

Conclusion? Some people may even switch to ministry after you're already married, so it's not always a question of swearing 'I can never marry a minister.' Their God may set you up. The best response to change is preparedness and adaptability. Get the right information and ask the right questions.
Can this person discuss subjects like sex without escaping into 'Let's pray about it' all the time? Can they take correction without hiding behind their ministry roles? Do they support your growth as much as you support theirs? Do they live a double life or are they integral?

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HI @drizzy254

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