The Sexual Dialogues: Romantic Connection Potential
The Gay Marriage Threat
Birth control ruined relationships because each time you fall in love you fall less. It is like the conversion of potential energy into kinetic energy. Once the conversion is made that potential energy is gone forever, that’s sad. But what is the point of having potential energy if you never convert it? For the sake of reference I will term this Romantic Connection Potential. Some people are born with more love inside them, we all know this. This means they were born with more Romantic Connection Potential. How much of this gets converted to Romantic Connection is left to fate, but what is predetermined is that the conversion goes in one direction and that you can’t get more Romantic Connection Potential than you were born with. Once it’s all gone the only romantic love in your life is the love you already have, the potential for more is gone forever. The key to all this is the sad part, each time you fall you fall less. No one likes that. If I could change it I would, if you could change it you would. It cannot be changed. In the abstract love for fellow man can be self regenerating, love of learning is the same. Romantic love is a fixed quantity. We are born with Romantic Connection Potential of varying amounts and when that is gone you cannot get more. This is sad, but this is true and so it has power over us even if we don’t believe in it. But if we believe in it our decisions will bring us more happiness, as we will make better decisions if we believe in the existence of that which cannot be undone through disbelief.
Potential energy and kinetic energy, Romantic Connection Potential and Romantic Connection. Takes the charm away, but that cannot be helped. Because the charm was gone in 1960 when the birth control pill was invented. Before that we did not need to take the charm away, we could avoid talk of Romantic Connection Potential, of the limits of the human heart. Before that we could avoid talk of the limits of love and just focus on birth control. Because before the pill the only control over birthing was to maintain a polite distance between part A and part B. We could speak of this, and speak of it politely. We did not need to speak of romance at all, we did not need to speak of love. We only needed to talk of duty, of responsibility, of the need to not bring a child into the world in unfortunate circumstances. Love could keep its charm, love could be talked of only in loving terms. Birth control ruined that.
Birth control ruined relationships because in the past the things we did to avoid out of wedlock pregnancies conserved our Romantic Connection Potential for marriage. Sex and love are not the same but before birth control the decisions we made to avoid pregnancy before marriage had the effect of limiting the amount of Romantic Connection Potential was consumed before marriage. You can only fall deeply enough in love for a good marriage once or twice in your life, after that the best you can hope for is a darn good friendship. Before birth control we would talk to our children about keeping part A and part B a polite distance apart until marriage. No one had to mention love, and it all worked. The things we did, the things we said, the things we thought, all worked to conserve Romantic Connection Potential until marriage. Love never had to be compared to kinetic energy, we did not need equations or diagrams Love could keep its charm and it all worked out,
Birth control ruined relationships, it doesn’t all work out now. The old explanations for staying apart before marriage do not make sense, there will be no baby, there will be no abortion, there will be no breeding instead of parenting. Birth control will keep the accident from happening, it will all work out. In 1960 the birth control pill hit a society with no history of talking about love in cold, charmless terms such as Romantic Connection Potential, no diagrams of love, no diagram of a rock falling to demonstrate the conversion from potential energy to kinetic energy. In 1960 the birth control pill hit a society where love was left to the poets. And it all worked out. Because avoiding out of wedlock children was left to the responsible adults, no poets need apply. It was a beautiful system, we all liked it better. It is gone and never coming back. Birth control means to have a happy society we have to take love away from the poets and give it to the responsible adults, there is sadness in this change, but it must happen. Because birth control ruined relationships.
Without fear of pregnancy there is no longer a reason to avoid inserting part A into part B and repeating as necessary. Without fear of pregnancy there is no restriction on premarital sex. Arguments against this have proven ineffective, as they should. All previous arguments for living the same as before even though now is different from before have failed because they are not good arguments. Making the same arguments agains but louder will not work. A national advertising campaign will not work. Fear of hell will not work. I could go on. Nothing tried has worked, nor should the things tried have worked. No good argument against premarital sex has yet been promoted. And so birth control ruins relationships, because without a good argument the protection against pregnancy makes what was once the exception the new rule. And widespread premarital sex is now the rule and all previous arguments have failed, and have failed due to lack of merit. They were not good arguments.
Unfortunately there are limits to how much sex we can have without losing a piece of our heart. It is possible for loveless sex to occur, this does not change the fact that widespread premarital sex is using up our Romantic Connection Potential before we become married, before we try to turn a house into a home. Searching for more loveless sex will not be the answer. Loveless sex is a form of sex without commitment and this always involves a disparity of appeal. Almost all uncommitted sex is between a woman and a man more attractive than the woman. This is not my opinion, this is scientifically documented. Scientists have studied one night stands, they have compiled statistics. Almost all one night stands are a woman sleeping with a man more attractive than her. Which means a man who would never be romantically involved with her.
Birth control takes love away from the poets and gives it to the scientists. A man will sleep with any woman but a woman will only sleep with a man who is her equal or better. She prefers better, and the more better the better. A man will only love a woman who is his equal or better, the more better the better. These two lines create only one intersection where is both love and sex, where the man and the woman are equally appealing. Where the man and woman have the same price tag of likability, of appeal. where the exchange of appealing features is a fair exchange between equals. Outside of this these lines do not intersect. There is both love and sex where the male and female lines intersect at the point of equal appeal. We will not only feel love for our equals, but we will only love our equals. This cannot be avoided. The truth is that which has power over us even if we do not believe in it. This has power over us.
As all uncommitted sexual relations are between unequal men and women the man can never love the uncommitted sexual partner. But the woman can. She can love the men she has uncommitted sex with. She can fall for them, she can fall for them all the easier as woman fall in love with men who are their equals or better and the more better the better. The more uncommitted the sex the greater the disparity between the man and the woman. The more uncommitted the sex the more the man is better and the more better the better. Women can and do fall for the men they have uncommitted sex with. Women can and do lose Romantic Connection Potential during their years of youthful freedom. This Romantic Connection Potential can never be regained. It is like the conversion of potential energy to kinetic energy. The poets are no longer the experts on love, birth control ruined that. The experts are not the scientist with diagrams and equations. Premarital sex is an engine for consuming Romantic Connection Potential without producing Romantic Connection. The women do lose potential with their sexual encounters with men who are better than them, the more better the better. Birth control ruined relationships, birth control took it away from poets and gave the to scientists.