RELATIONSHIP TALK WITH ZIZY EPISODE 26

Hello everyone and welcome to yet another exciting episode of your award winning relationship show every Saturday titled, "Saturday Night with Zizy". Today makes it episode 26 since the onset of this show and just like every other episodes, it promises to be outstanding.

Before I jump into the crux of the matter, I'll love to as my manner is, appreciate those who always found time to come around and show me enormous love on this show every Saturday. My gratitude goes to @one-person, @korexe, @peakreal1, @eurogee, @mizdais, @dubem-eu, @cool08, @hlezama, @adoore-eu, @imbigdee, @dawizy, @sola3097, @bookoons, @dayjee, @udezeee.

Without much ado, DJ play the music in jenifa's voice...lol

RELATIONSHIP TALK WITH ZIZY

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As humans, we must always be involved in interpersonal relationships. We interact with people at home, offices, markets and anywhere individuals perform one form of transactions or another. In dealing with people, we expect to be treated with courtesy, respect, love and admiration depending on who is involved. Many atimes, we do not get treated the way we feel we deserve to be treated. In life, what you give out is what you get. It is important to teach people how we want them to treat us. You don't just go about expecting everyone to know what is an acceptable and unacceptable behaviour to you if you do not effectively communicate this to them.

It all starts with self. How do you treat yourself? The way you treat yourself sets a standard for others. Do you believe in yourself? Do you understand your self worth? Evaluating yourself will give you a right standing with others. Complaining, keeping silent or yelling is not a clear way to pass the message across when we want others to understand how we want to be treated. It is important we send a clear message. On the other hand, the golden rule says, "Do unto others what you want others to do unto you". How you treat others also determines how others would treat you.

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Some people do not even know how they want to be treated. These are the co-dependant individuals. They do not know how to protect themselves from being abused or violated nor do they recognise when they are being harmed. People like this gets treated like shit and although they know in their innerheart they seem to have no absolute idea why people treat them the way they do.

What are the likely reasons why people treat you the way they do?

1. The word "no" does not exist for you. Every request gets a yes answer even when it is not convenient. Instead of declining, you will rather take on more responsibilities or commitments. This doesn't make you the most loved person on earth, instead it gives people the room to use, re-use and abuse you. Learn to say no with no explanation, no defence and no justification. In fact, when you learn to say no, only then can you know those whostick around just because they want to use you because their true motives would be revealed.

2. You do not want to offend someone. You want to be goody-two shoes and be in everyone's good book. You are afraid of stepping on on toes and having them get mad. What you are simply doing is forcing others to take you for granted. To them, you are simply that individual who never gets offended no matter what you throw at him/her. Stop being an idealist idiot in a real world. You cannot please everyone. Stop pleasing people and displeasing yourself.

3. You are predictable. Everyone around knows what you are capable of doing. Your loved ones know your weak points. They know just the right button to press to get you to do their bidding. It is subtle manipulation but do not blame yourself for being so predictable. Once in a while, give them a shocker. Do something they would never imagine you can do.

4. You have a fear of confrontation. You will rather pout or grumble or hide in your dark corner than confront someone who obviously is taking you for a ride. If you never learn to take issues head on, you will always be frustrated and unhappy because scenarios repeat itself. Give that injustice a voice and watch it stop for good. Stop being afraid of loud and outspoken people. Learn to challenge when and if necessary.

5. You lie to yourself. You are always quick to lie to yourself instead of believing in yourself. You feel uncomfortable when someone else feels uncomfortable for disrespecting you. Just because you reacted angrily and the person get a angry, you start to feel guilty for making them angry. You forget to take care of yourself and watch out for you. What you are simply doing is giving them the permission to walk all over you.

6. Fear of being alone. You need and want a relationship and so you place so much value on keeping the relationship connection than protecting yourself from being trampled or bulldozed by an abusive and controlling partner. You are afraid of being alone than being treated right and so you keep bending over backwards to do whatever they want in the hope of winning their affection which most often never happens.

7. You give too much benefit of doubt. When your boundaries are violated by someone, you console your self by assuming they don't know what they are doing and you immediately forgive them. When you keep convincing yourself that perhaps they took the right decision instead of protecting yourself and setting boundaries, you are giving them room to walk all over you.

8. You don't know what you want. You can't make a simple decision by yourself. You seek approval before you can perform any action. When someone realizes you depend on them for every decision you make, you have automatically given them the power to control you emotionally and use you as they please. Soon you would be living their lives and not yours.

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It is important to understand why you are being taken for granted. Do you see any of the above mentioned traits in you? Do not lose your own self respect and self worth. Learn to take a stand and communicate effectively when you feel you you are not getting the desired treatment. Not giving people the opportunity to ride over you doesn't mean you are mean. No, it simply means you value yourself and understand just how much you deserve.

DATING TIPS

Give each other a pet name. It may be super annoying to other people (and you may want to reserve it for when you’re in private), but a pet name can add an extra layer of intimacy to your relationship.

FUN CORNER (JUST FOR LAUGHS)

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How would you react if someone of the same sex asks you out? (If you know, you know)

DEAR ZIZY

ANONYMOUS 1

I met my boyfriend on Instagram. We have been chatting and all and the communication has been smooth. He is based in the states and he is making plans to come home this December. According to him, he wants me to meet his family and wants to meet mine. I was really excited about finally meeting him and my in-laws to be so I asked him to show me a picture of his family. When I saw the picture, I thought his mother looked familiar and so I asked him some questions to see if it is the same person I know and I found out she is. His mother is my gynaecologist and she knows I have aborted twice and had asherman syndrome. She knows me very well. I am afraid she will not approve of this relationship and she may be forced to tell her son why. Please what do I do?

CONCLUSION

Its been a fun ride all the way down here and i hope you enjoyed every part of it. The show has finally come to an end but it wouldnt be complete without your comments. If you have comments on all segments, you are allowed to express yourself and check out other peoples comment too. It's always fun interacting.
If you love this show and want to support, your SBDs and Steem are very welcomed. Supporters so far are @eurogee, @amec, @samminator @samest, @smyle and @surfyogi. Thanks a lot guys.

Until next week when I shall come your way again,

I still remain your host

@zyzymena.