Why are you lying to yourself?

in #relationship5 years ago (edited)

My ex-boyfriend cheated on me and defined it as "You know...when people are drunk things happen." So from this point of view, I will share my female side of the story, and if anyone here has any suggestion or anything to say, please do!

A long time ago, I have realized that to love and to have ownership, just don't go together. So I affirmed to myself that a relationship with a man in my life should not be the ownership, but freedom to let him choose to love freely. I have realized that nature is just built this way and monogamy is not really healthy.

After the stage of being sad and depressed I was questioning...why does it hurt me so much… and I’ve realized that it’s not what he did with other women that bothered me, but that he lied. We could have grown from it, differently. If my ex-boyfriend told me that things aren’t working or that he needs more space and time, or time with other women by himself, I would totally get it.

So the question was, why did he lie to me? The answer I have found is - why did I lie to myself and what was the lie about?

The first five seconds when a woman, every woman, meets or talks or approaches another human being (anyone), she already knows what the intention of this person is. The same way she knows, whether it is the one, soulmate, a person she wants to spend her life with or not. Truth is, the first five seconds of our meeting with my ex-boyfriend - I knew, that it is just a lesson. And I knew it all along - he is not the one.

And then it all made sense to me, because if I am being honest with myself… if I could turn back the time and knew what is going to happen, before he cheated on me and had a chance to change it - I wouldn’t.

So moral of the story is this. We already know the truth, our heart knows, and if by any chance, ever in life, you have to question something or you're getting mixed signals - take them as a no.

Sometimes we realize that we are lying to ourselves in a hard way, in a really hard way, but that’s sometimes the only way. And then we accept, we forgive ourselves for our own lies, and we let go.

Take it easy. Don't expect things from people. Expect them from yourself.

I believe, it is beautiful to share intimacy and I think it is genuinely pure when you share an intimacy that is conscious, with males or females or all of them together. Having someone to go out and have fun with, share those deep conversations, look at the stars, the moon, simply walking. Those romantic things, funny stuff, the jokes, and the hugs. If you choose to go through or be in a relationship that is a lesson - then enjoy it.

When the time comes, people who don't belong in your life are going to be taken away. And there is really nothing we can do about it. Just remember, that every single person you meet is not a coincidence, yet it is your choice. Are you allowing people to stay out of love or out of fear? Are those people fulfilling your life with positivity, joy, love, inspiration? And if they are not then… Why are you lying to yourself?

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