China's leftover women - Single and not necessarily successful

Credit to bendibao.com

This is an interesting topic that has been a hot debate both inside China and outside. I was happy to see it raised again by @msgivings. I am going to look at some points that were mentioned by @msgivings as well as offer some further angles afforded by the fact that I am a young woman living in the very society with which the term Sheng Nu is derived.

The original article can be found HERE

The main points discussed in @msgivings article follows pretty much the same allegory as popular media.
Without regurgitating whole articles, here are the main take away points.

• Women are getting well educated
• Economic growth means more opportunity to carve a successful career
• Women face archaic societal traditions resulting in pressure to forego their career and instead, find a partner, marry and have children

Valid points and I agree to varying extents with each of these. I have experienced this first hand as well as witnessed many cases of this happening. But a point that I fail to see much discussion on, is the assumption that women become ShengNu as a by product of being Successful, and why is it that this is apparently the main characteristic that drives the Sheng Nu demographic?

Credit to wanhuajing.com

Do you have to be Successful to be a Sheng Nu?

In nearly all published articles regarding Sheng Nu, The National Bureau of Statistics is quoted on the number of Sheng Nu over a certain age. It is then assumed that the majority of these women are unmarried and called ShengNu because of their success. Where are the statistics showing what proportion of women who are unmarried are actually successful? Why is it assumed that women are unmarried because they're too busy being successful in their careers?

The truth is, I very much doubt that the statistics (if they exist) will show that most Sheng Nu are infact successful career women. Again, I have to stress that I do agree that being a successful woman does contribute to reasons for marrying later as opposed to earlier. However, there are a large population of women who are un-married, and wouldn't consider themselves successful or financially well-off. Are they therefore not Sheng Nu too?

The assumption that women choose careers over marriage and starting a family is simply too simple a generalisation to fit the reason why there are so many Sheng Nu. Can it be, that there is a causality from something deeper rooted in society that makes women find it harder to find partners? I think the answer is very much a yes.

Credit to bdimg.com

Womens Expectations vs What they can realistically get

The wealth distribution is very skewed in China. Whilst the average salary has risen dramatically with the rise of China's economy in the last few decades, the wealth divide between the rich and poor still favours the very few to the very many. Economic progression has given rise to opportunities for women to work shoulder to shoulder with their male peers and earn better and better salaries. However, improved societal acceptance of women in workplace is not matched with an improved society acceptance of gender roles, and the expectations of each gender. Men are faced with being the primary bread winners and must approach marriage with enough money to buy a car and a house. Whilst women now have opportunity to grow their own careers, there still remains a social stigma that men should still be the ones responsible for buying a house and a car.

Buying a house and a car is now the reality of fewer and fewer people. For most, renting is the only solution. As house prices sky rocket, wages have failed to keep up. Much like the west, getting on the housing ladder is becoming harder and harder for the generation Y. As such, if a woman expect's their partner to provide a house, this greatly reduces the number of potential partners by a significant majority.

Even though there are more men than women in China, there are still far fewer eligible men that fit the minimum expectations of women. As a result, there is an intense competition for the few alpha males that do live up to these expectations.

As such, a culture of women looking to marry rich men has become quite predominant. Whether it's young women being concubines to rich businessmen, or young girls who will only date 2nd generation rich guys,the story is the same. Women expecting something that most men simply can't give.

Is this potentially a reason why women want more financial freedom，especially as fewer men are able to outright provide them with that financial security? A very real possibility.

Credit to news.china.com

Princesses and Princelings

China has had a single child policy in place since 1979. Only recently has this been lifted. As a result, the entire generation Y has been brought up being the only child. Boys have been favoured because of the strong patriarchal ideology, but when all is said and done, the boys and girls are treated as princes and princesses as they are the only child. This obviously has very deep consequences when the society as a whole expects their sole child to be the absolute best and deserve nothing short of the best. A popular saying Princess Syndrome refer's to the girls who behave like Princesses and have been spoilt all the way through to adulthood. Princelings are the male equivalent. With this kind of princess mindset, girls from this generation find it difficult to accept anything less than the best treatment because they themselves grew up very privileged. This of course exacerbates the situation that men already find it hard to provide the very basics, let alone the extra's which may end up costing even more.

Luxury goods, extravagant living and general decadence is something alot of generation Y girls have grown up to expect. Providing these to a girl is out of the realm of possibility for a normal man, and only possible to the top alpha males in society. With so much pressure from society on what is considered living a good life, the expectations of these princess have largely become inaccessible to them should they marry someone with a normal background. Once again, this barrier results in women having to risk searching until they find the ideal man, or build up some financial security themselves whilst they look for that ideal partner.

Credit to images-amazon.com

Rich or Successful girls won't marry down?

It's strange that it's normal for a man to marry down in terms of socio-economic status, but very strange for a woman to do the same. A woman that has the financial means to buy her own house, her own car, and everything she needs still refuses to marry someone who is less financially successful. This is something that I see very often, both in my own friendship groups and in society as a whole. This is of course discussed in most of the articles of Sheng Nu. The thing that I don't see discussed is the reason's why, and one reason in particular, Face.

Credit to cnhuadong.net

Can I "Face" my peers?

Face is a term that is less understood in the west, but of significant sociological importance in Asian cultures. It's basically one's reputation and feeling of prestige. It's important to young women that their partner is of a certain quality to the people that observe her from the outside. Whether he is handsome, or rich, or both is very important in getting face from family and friends as well as society as a whole. Girls still place very heavy emphasis on this sociological concept and for that reason, it is difficult for a girl to marry down. This of course speaks volumes about the value that people in society place on face value.

Credit toedushi.com

To Conclude

Sheng Nu have been portrayed as successful women who have chosen careers over marriage. It is unclear whether it is cause or effect that women have chosen to pursue careers instead of earlier marriage due to societal complexes and expectations that have yet to mature. I have talked about some of the reasons that have been eluded by the articles in popular media, and perhaps this is because it draws a slightly negative light on Chinese women. However, being a young Chinese women myself, I can attest to the difficulty of living in a progressive Chinese society where social norms of old are no longer congruent with ideologies of new. Perhaps the answer is that more time is needed to allow society as a whole accept the wider role of women and allow for society to recognise the importance of gender equality in more than just a few dimensions of measure.

I also feel that with less repression, women will begin to pursue relationships that align very well with their own life goals as well as career. There needn't be a stigma revolving around the age at which a women chooses to start a family, nor should there be pressures on a woman or man should they decide to marry-up or marry-down.

I imagine that Sheng Nu will always be around, but the negative connotations surrounding them will eventually change for the better.