"It's not love that fails, Its relationship that fails"
Train Arrived, I'm at Wayanad Station, Kerala, Phone Rang, its her, "Surekha"
"Hello, Sathish where are you?"
"So, when will you be back?"
"May be in couple of days"
"Okay. Love you baby. Miss you."
"Love you too darling. Missing you a lot too."
Thanks for reading this conversation. Hi, I am Sathish Kumar, twenty-seven years old who is still single. I grew up in a middle class family from Chennai. Officially, I now work as a Cyber Researcher in a Security Audit Company. I'm a kind of person who have opinion on everything I see.
From my childhood, love plays a vital role in most of the important emotions that were created in me throughout my life journey. Rigorously, I love most of the things which excites and interest me. I enjoy taking risk out of any situations.
Lets rewind back to 2009, the phase of my life where my mobile ringtone, internal feelings, expressions, thoughts, focus and everything slowly started changing after her entry in my life. Inspite of being from different areas and different colleges, we fell in love with each other. we usually talk for hours and hours in call. Even though, we have created a lot of memories in our 4 years of life together. It was the time we both were earning a little.
One day, after office, I thought of finding time for her to discuss about our career. I also disconnected my handy technologies before I meet her.
I was half shaved with a grey T-shirt & blue Jeans. We met and I started walking with her. She looked beautiful with minute sandal applied on her forehead and Churidar covering with Dupatta, which is my favorite in her. Her specks added additional beauty to her face, her charming smile, capable of capturing attention, highlighted her cute little dimple.
Her name is Sasha, completed her engineering in Computer Science department and currently working in a trading company.
I credited her for her smile and took charge by holding her hands slowly.
"How far do you love me?", she asked.
Some people are good at complimenting women. I believe I'm not one of them. I tried seeing her eyes to say something but those eyes were busy watching down the road and signals. I'm not sure where this would go, how far it will progress and where it will end. Even though there were these uncertainities, I started to answer her question with some collection of words that popped up into my mind.
"Whenever I feel the love that extend towards you, I could also see a huge fight of slight disturbance between my mind and thoughts. However, I never failed to satisfy your eyes, ears and thoughts. I never have been so calm or controlled with anyone other than you.
I mostly avoid lying to my father. While speaking lies to everyone else never affected my conscience, I hesitated to lie to you. Then, later, it made me to stop lying everywhere.
I smile, I mock and I make fun of you mostly but, at end of the day, you are the most important person and only reason for all my happiness that I achieve everyday since we met.
I'm still confused and no clue how far I do love you. However, my essential thought is to sustain with you in relationship forever. And, according to me, love is the 'time, money, energy and effort that I give for you'. Considering that most of my day is spent together with you, I can say that I love you more than anyone else in my life. I want to be the reason for your smile forever. Will you be my wife?"
I Paused and we stopped walking.
We stared at each other's eyes with a blushing face and charming smile. Actually, we reached the bus stand which is also the reason for the halt. Bus arrived and she boarded the bus even though she was not interested to leave me from this moment where we were together. However, it was late and she went into the bus through back door entrance of the bus and didn't miss her back corner seat.
By holding the side window rod of the bus, "It's not too late my dear", I said.
Touching my hand softly, "Mom will be expecting me home, I've to go da", She replied.
"Go, See you"
I was standing there with a big grin on my face.
"Nothing. But, I Love you" I Whispered.
"Love you too da. Take care. Text me once you reach home" She said with a tone of responsibility.
Four Years Passed. It was 2013, the time when our relationship turned sour and we parted away. Initially, it's been tough for both of us to handle life without each other. And, I was completely in a negative mindset with this 'true love' trash. After a year, she took time to forget everything and get herself married with someone else.
It was not easy for me to deviate thoughts from her for next 2 years. I was too aggressive. Thanks to those divine thoughts, which ignited a bulb in my head, and helped me realise that anger is a feeling which is to be rested in a place where it creates less noise.
I could see few of my friends, sisters and brothers were so supportive for me in overcoming all such situations. I received overwhelming love from everyone around me which made me to realise & think that love shouldn't be limited to a single soul.
I was scolding myself for not being perfect and was longing to have a relationship with her. But, now, when I go back and see, everything I do, did daily, my actions in all moments, creates memories to think during my old age. And, everything happens no matter either I worry or enjoy life. Life and time doesnt wait for anyone. You either taste it or waste it.
Few days passed, it's time to understand about relationship tags. In our society, we create names for all relationships and limit or narrow down our love for particular tags. Lover, Friend, Sister, Brother, Uncle, Aunty, Father, Mother, Husband & Wife and every relationship that whom we meet in our life are carrying some relationship tag.
I started breaking all those narrow limits of love and started showering love to every individual around me. Relationship tags became a rubbish after that. I felt myself entering into a new world where love is not so selfish. You can shower the love to more than one person. Loving one person doesn't mean restricting yourself to limit your love to that one soul. I started balancing things and figured out all the possible ways of understanding and loving individuals as they are.
I said "Love You" to everyone I meet, said "Thank You" in all the moments where I felt gratitude. I "hug" & "kiss" to express my Love. I started adjusting and practicing acceptance & patience which paved me a path to accept mine and other's mistakes and also realize that it's common.
It happened again in my life, the feeling I once had for Sasha. Her name is "Surekha", a Doctor, Social activist and a lovely girl who showered her love to every individuals around her. And, I was really impressed.
My opinion of "One Plant, One Flower" concept vanished when I met her.
Yes. We started to "love" each other. My previous girl, it's not that, my love failed. It's my relationship which failed due to the lack of my knowledge and maturity in handling it.
And, now I came to Kerala for a trip with my friends and Surkha couldn't join me due to official works.
Thank you, Universe, for bringing back joy and happiness in my life! I thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me not lose hope!
May you follow your bliss and may joy and gratitude brighten up your life! You can achieve anything anywhere! Thank you!
You will also get a situation where you would get an emotion to drop of all your relationships, love and everything to get back to normal. No. It’s not the right emotion. Just focus on saying a good and decent bye for the relationship that harms you and be ready to accept the relationship that attracts you with love, and enjoy life with more meaning. Happy Living with smile forever. Live your life with love. Thank You. My Sincere Gratitude.