How do you repair a broken relationship with someone?

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A broken relationship is like a crack on the wall. If we don't address the crack, in no time the entire building will collapse. Sometimes it is beyond us. Beyond our control. We watch these relationships wear out like an old tyre and fade like some clothing material. It hurts sometimes. We very much want these people in our lives but they have committed some atrocities, maybe breached our trusts, maybe cheated on us with our best friends. It's possible that you are the offender. You said the things you were not supposed to say or did things you shouldn't have and the relationship is suddenly redirected on a journey we never want. People who were at some point a Part of our lives suddenly become enemies or better still, strangers we never want to see again. Some broken relationships break us such that we are either not ready to try again or trust again.

A lot of people wait too long before taking action towards mending a broken friendship or relationship. It's often said that a stitch in time saves nine. Some crack in our relationship linger too long before we begin the work of repair and building. Broken relationships can be restored but first we must agree that it isn't over for us. We must be willing to take the necessary steps. Get the cement and the sand together like a builder. Don't just wish that something happens and those we've offended will play along. No, you have to take the effort towards reaching out and making things work. Here are some points you should consider.

1. Have an understanding heart. You have to understand that humans are not perfect but imperfect. They have weaknesses, flaws and shortcomings in different aspects and to different degrees. If we cannot forgive the shortcomings of others, how do we expect them to forgive us? Jesus in his teachings about prayers said forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. We are indebted to a whole lot of people more than we know or are willing to admit. Some people because of the way they are wired take offenses about issues that are rarely a bone of contention for others. We have to understand this about their personalities and be willing to excuse their behaviors.

2. Talk to the offenders. You have to learn the place of dialogue in relationships. Things left to themselves don't usually become better by themselves. Talk to the offender about how you feel about the offense. Don't assume that people know what the gravity of their offenses to you are. The things people consider as offense may not be to another so you have to know how their minds work by talking to them. You'd be surprised to learn that they didn't even know that they committed such offenses. I've been in that situation before.

I am a leader of a cell and i have members that I am supposed to be leading. They are to take instructions from me and I expect their cooperation. Very recently, one of them told me that he was angry with me. What for I asked? I walk around smiling at everyone not knowing that I had offended some by my words and action. I had to beg, coarse and do everything I could to get him to open up. He eventually did and I was shocked to learn what the problem was. It was just a generic statement I made not to him in particular and yet, he was offended. I had to apologize and resolve the issue because my relationship with him was important.

3. Apologize. If the relationship is important to you, you must set aside your ego and apologize if you are the guilty one. Most relationships end because the parties involved prefer their ego to saving the relationship. Remember that saying sorry doesn't mean that you are weak or guilty of the offense. Sorry as simple as it sounds can save a dying relationship. When you offend people, you should be willing to ask their forgiveness. Forgiveness heals. Forgiveness cures. It repairs. It changes things. We must look past anything in us, in our personality and be willing to hold out the olive branch when necessary. There will be less wars if we own up to our faults and mistakes and ask forgiveness for them.

4. Let go. You have to know when to hold on and when to let go. Let go of hurts. Release them and set yourself free. You should know when a relationship is worth holding unto and worth letting go. Not everyone is meant to be in your life. Not every relationship is worth saving. When people keep apologizing and hurting you, then apology has been abused. It means that apology has become a cheap term. In that case, it won't be effective. Let such people out of your life and the people who values your company and your relationship will come to you. If the relationship is worth saving, then go for it.

5. Win. Yes you've got to win back their trust. Trust they say is like an eraser. When broken, It gets smaller and smaller. Start by winning back their trust haven asked their forgiveness. They may not listen but don't relent. Don't give up or give in. If you need the help or support of another, then get it. Get someone who they will be willing to listen to as a middle man. A broken relationship is like a wound. When we sustain injuries, we don't leave the affected part to rot. We clean up the wound, use the right medication and let it heal.

In relationships, offenses are bound to come but they can be resolved. My mother used to say that even the teeth and tongue usually have disagreements that's why the teeth sometimes bite the tongue when we chew but that doesn't stop the tongue from rolling the food when the teeth chews. It heals and continue the good relationship that has existed between them over time. In same way, when we have issues with people as much as possible, resolve the conflict and have your life back.