What is the best way to break a relationship?

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Life and it's many twists. One minute, we are head over heels with that supposed special someone who makes it seems like we never really started living until we met them. They become a part of our everyday, interrupting our thoughts every now and then by what they said or did in the past. We love this feeling of being the center of someone's thoughts. We may have even concluded that they are the ones with whom we want to spend the rest of our years. From seeing them every now and then to wanting them to become a part of our dreams and future. It hurts when the euphoria of emotions wear out and suddenly we realize that we don't want to continue with them. I've been there before. Sometimes it isn't because we don't love them anymore. Maybe they stopped loving us and chooses to opt out or most probably because love is not enough. There are many reasons for which one may want to end a relationship. Whatever that reason might be, it is important that you think of ways to do it without causing much harm than would be necessary. Here are some points you should consider.

1. Think about how long you've been dating and what went wrong. The longer it is you have been seeing someone, the more important it is that you break up with them properly. You have to do this with clarity especially since this isn't just a casual leave. Think about what went wrong between you both and be ready to say it. If someone was going to break up with you, you would want to know what you did wrong. That way, even if you don't continue with them, you would have clue about the issues to address about yourself. Maybe a repeated character flaw or something else at least, you are not left guessing. This would help your self esteem. The reason for which you want to break up with them is sure important to you. Probably you've raised some issues in the past with no change as promised by them. Think of how you can convey your thoughts without being misunderstood.

2. Confront them. While this may not sound so nice. I still think it is a better idea than avoidance. When you begin to avoid them, they might take it that you still will come back to them when you are done with whatever it is that is keeping you busy. So instead of raising their hopes, I suggest you talk to them about how you feel. Talk to them. Yes, rehearse your points very well just in case they might want to counter it with either an apology or promises to make amends and change. That becomes a trap. Do it and get it done with. Go straight to the point. Breaking up with someone leaves wounds but they will eventually heal and get over it.

3. While you may not want to hurt your man's feelings, don't put yours at risk. Don't be ambiguous In your choice of words. While you may want to do this in the most kind and polite way since you're putting their feeling into consideration , try not to be vague or leave your thoughts as a question or suggestion. When you say for instance "I think we both need space and time to assert our relationship" It gives your partner the feeling that they still have a second chance or a reason to be expectant since they may not take it as a break up. That could be misleading. Be sincere to yourself about what you want. Tell them honestly how much you enjoyed being with them but right now, you don't see a future together with them and as such you are opting out. Make sure they understand what you mean. Tell him or her that the future you plan with them may not be feasible and state your reasons. Try not to blame them for your decision.

4. Give them Clues. I would rather that you give them clue through your behavior. When you love someone, you would want to spend time with them as often as possible. Now that you are choosing the way out, you should reduce the amount of time you spend with them. Call them less often. Avoid chats with them as much as possible. Silent treatment is a way of conveying your message to them without having to confront them. They may mistake this for the fact that you are busy with work, projects, school or anything else that could serve an excuse and keep you occupied. That way, they'll begin to get the memo that you have moved on or you don't want to be with them anymore.

Breakups are not so easy to carry through especially if the person was nice to you but if you have chosen to move on, then get it done with and let the other person move on with their lives. Don't break up with them over the phone. A lot of times, we are tempted to do this as it takes off the burden of confrontation and the emotional stress attached. Whatever way you have chosen, make sure not to do it over the phone or through writing. Don't breakup with someone on important dates of their lives like on their birthday, anniversary or other celebrations. Choose a good location that will afford you their attention without distractions. Restaurants or his or her favourite places may not be good location just in case things go messy, you wouldn't attract many eyes to yourself.