Who hurts more in a relationship?
Answering this question correctly begins with an understanding of what you mean and in what context. First, I believe by relationship, you mean that involving two people of opposite Sex; a man and a woman. Again, this question could either mean two things. Firstly, which gender hurts the other most in a relationship. Is it the male or the female? On the other hand, it could mean who gets most of the hurts in a relationship?
Answers involving clash of the sexes are based on our ideologies. Ideologies that are premised upon experiences either from our personal stories or from other people's stories. If my first presumption is what you mean by who hurts more in a relationship, then it is relative to the people involved in the relationship. I can't tell to what degree this could be between the man and the woman. Hurts could stem from betrayal, cheating, distrust to emotional, verbal and physical abuse. There are instances where men get more hurt and others where the women are the victims.
But in answering who hurts more as a kind of recipient from a bad relationship, I think it is the women. Women are emotional beings. They tend to react from the place of emotion rather than from logic. They are usually recipients, biologically speaking. They receive the sperm from the man. Ladies seem to always be the ones on the receiving end of the consequences of some unfavourable outcomes. When a relationship breaks or doesn't work out, ladies hurt more. This is further explained by the reason she cries endlessly for days when there is disappointment concerning wedding.
When Sex happens between her and her partner, she is the one who becomes afraid of getting pregnant especially out of wedlock. When pregnancy is anticipated, she develops cold feet and starts to drown pills like a chicken. She goes through the pain of abortion when it seem like the only option left especially when there's no support from the partner who is responsible for her condition. It is the ladies who go through the psychological trauma of murder. She combines the psychological trauma with emotional pains and then with physical discomfort.
If there are complications in the abortion procedures, whose body is affected? The male or female. If complication arises and her life is threatened, she stands a chance to lose her life. While the person responsible for the pregnancy may not own up and so may go scot-free. If she survives the abortion and loses her womb, she lost the chance to conceive ever again.
If the decision is to have the baby, whose belly protrudes? An African proverb says, you should always respect pregnant women because "it is not easy to walk around with evidence that you've had Sex". Who goes through the seemingly stigma of having an unwanted pregnancy? Who goes through all the morning sicknesses? Whose body adjusts to the different trimesters with accompanying inconveniences? Woman yes, woman. She goes through labour pains. Pains that could make a grown up man cry like a toddler. Imagine she is in school, she may have to suspend schooling if she cannot combine it with the stress accompanying motherhood.
Hours or days before child birth, who goes through the cramping, tightening, the back pains, the waves, the pressure, the pushing, the sweating and the exhaustion. Despite all of these pains she has to go through, she might become a single mother if her partner is irresponsible? Breast feeding and nurturing the little baby that she alone didn't bring to the world.
The bottom line is that both men and women could suffer from hurts in a relationship but to different degrees. It is therefore important that we choose someone who is worth every risks. Choose a partner who will be there to fight for you and fight with you if ever occasion warrants it. Everyone has got shit. But choose someone whose shits you can accommodate. Choose someone who gives you peace of mind. Someone who values and places your life and interests above his egos.