Adultery = True Love?
"Saturday night, I arrive at a nightclub as soon as I get in, I see her. I can't look the other way. I like that woman. She looks at me, I look at her. She goes dancing with a guy and I follow her. Finally I ask her out for a piece and she dances like the angels. Start talking. Thinks the same as I do about life, politics, music, friendship and even sex.
From being two strangers, we become two people who have the impression of having known each other for years. I feel like someone who is again, interesting to someone else. I feel wanted and alive. At three in the morning I find out that she is married. She told me, as honest as ever.
It looks incredible but I can't do anything about it. I'm just in love. I hear her and I melt like butter on hot bread. I see her and I forget everything. I always end up in her arms. When I'm by her side everything makes sense. I would change my whole life for the hours we spent together. It can not be bad, it's like being in heaven. "
Over and over again I hear stories like this in my friend's meetings. Sometimes both protagonists are married, or the married is a Man and the single a woman . What is the secret of adultery and what makes it so divine and so criticized? Which of the two is available and why? What happened during that moment when it seems like your life passed like a flash before your eyes?
That is precisely the secret of adultery: to make the reverie stronger than reality, to last beyond all possibility, and to renew the drunkenness whose sensation can not be reproduced by any alcohol on earth. The sorrows and joys of heart and love are as old and eternal as we are human beings. Happiness is like a shrewd shadow that seems to be within reach, that flees when we approach, that persecutes us when we try to escape it and, for an instant, remains suspended like a miracle.
We all want to discover the secret of love to reproduce it at will, to make it eternal, to turn the leaden gray of habitual life into luminous gold. The routine, everyday and day to day, is gray and in every encounter with that being, it is as fireworks were lit, as if that gray was filled with meaning and light and from that encounter arises something that is like a Extra in life.
There are good and bad reasons for adultery, but whether the reasons are good or bad, the psychological role of adultery is to satisfy a shortage of a real, objective, imaginary or subjective form of relationship. It is the difficulty to endure life as destiny has done.
Adultery has a double benefit: on the one hand it satisfies the existing emptiness, on the other it feeds the illusion that everything is possible. And it is this function of illusion that is essential in adultery. But it is not only an illusion, it gives us a vision of love and a very authentic and very enriching couple, showing us love with its mistakes and enigmas.
All this happens thanks to desire, that feeling, that chemistry that pushes us. It bewitches us and makes us crazy for another person. Although infidelity is still criticized, persecuted and censored, it is also immensely popular and continues to increase! We need to learn more about infidelity and keep in mind that we can all fall into their claws.
As a hopeless romantic that believes in love, I think people cheat because they fail to see that love is not an emotion but rather a choice. You don't feel butterflies in your stomach 24/7 when youre with your SO. Sometimes you even despise them. But it is a decision you made and a decision you have to fulfill. If you feel lust for someone else just use your hand. Lol. Much better than hurting someone.
"Sometimes you even despise them" True Story pal! thanks for replying!
I believe it is possible to love more than one person at once, but you should only go down that road if all participants are aware and consenting to an open relationship.
I agree with you though on most bar the turning the lead of life into gold, if you learn to love 'properly' you can love every single moment.
Thanks for sharing. <3
" if all participants are aware and consenting to an open relationship." We are currently seeing a lot of this in today's Society. Thanks For replying dude!
No problemo buddo!
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Like @sammosk, I also subscribe to the open/poly approach to relationships. I spent most of my adult life in monogamous arrangements that were never happy, and oddly enough, I wasn't the one that was disloyal (although temptation was there).
Like he said, consent and honesty is a cornerstone of any interaction or relationship if you want it to flourish and grow.
There is so much pressure in society to have "traditional" realtionships that even the discussion surrounding having more than one partner is inherently taboo. You want to have sex with someone else because your husband isn't filling your needs? Welp, time to get a divorce or secretly sneak around, even though you love him. This idea that it is easier, or somehow more convenient, to be dishonest about your needs and basic desires, ruins more relationships than it helps. Putting so much pressure and expectation on one person to give you everything you need is not only absurd, it is nearly impossible.
You're right, infidelity/adultery is a massive problem because the love for another human being should never be constrained or bound by such a narrow definition. Or piece of paper. It can't be. Love, desire, attraction, and compatability are huge, powerful emotions and connections. When you find something that glimmers and shines in time with your own spark, the overwhelming urge to hold and possess it is crippling, trumping all others.
Well, that turned into way longer of a comment than I anticipated. 😂
This was a good read and a really excellent commentary on the subject of adultery. I especially enjoyed the visuals of light in the dark of monotony. Thanks for sharing this with us! ❤❤❤