Making a great marriage.

There is this question that always pops up whenever we attend any singles or married conference and it is:

"what makes a great marriage?"

If I should share my opinion, I will agree with Emilie Barnes equation that says:
Gods prescriptions + our commitment = marital fullness.

Once this equation is been applied, we'll get 5 key principles of a great marriage and it includes :

• G: Giving
• R: Relating
• E: Encouraging words
• A: Allowing your spouse to be God's person.
• T: Touching.

I will be taking these five principles one after the other.

Source 

Giving:

According to John 3:16:

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whomsoever believeth in him, should not perish but have everlasting life.

So, generally speaking "God is giving personified". His plans for us is to be givers as well. That means in marriage, we must stop thinking only of ourselves, but learn to give one another our time, love, talents, finances, fears, trust etc. It should never be a one sided thing like the way it is always emphasised in Nigeria, especially when it comes to finances. When a couple start giving to each other, it will become much easier to extend the act to others.

Relating :

When we hear the word "relating", first thing that comes to mind is "connecting with someone". Human beings exist because of the relationship we have with one another. "No man can be an island on his own". And if there is any two people that must connect in thoughts, it is the husband and wife. Most couple finds it really hard to relate with their spouse, either because of fear, embarrassment or shame of been mocked. Relating to our spouse is a primary avenue to oneness in marriage. This can only happen when partners spend time together talking and listening to what makes them tick or ticked.

Bible said:

By wisdom a house is built and by understanding, it's established and by knowledge, the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. (prob 24:3-4)

We must take note of the 3 outstanding words in this scripture:

• wisdom
• understanding
• knowledge

These keywords are really necessary, when relating to our spouse.

Encouraging words

Words of encouragement is one of the basic love languages that spouses should to relate with one another. Sometimes in life, we've areas were we feel so insecured and lack the courage to face it headlong. We need those words of encouragement to inspire courage in us.
For instance, when our wife says: "I need to loose weight!!", we can't just brush it off by telling her: "that's one of the hardest thing to do. Even if you loose weight, you will probably put it back on" That's not right. Infact, that will totally kill the zeal she had in her before making the statement.
She needs to be encouraged with affirming words like: "if you decide to do it, i know you will succeed, because you are the over zealous type". Take further steps by registering her in a gym center or perhaps join in early morning road walks. These will motivate them.

Allowing your spouse to be God's person.

In marriage vows we see couples recite these words:

for better, for worse, till death do us part

But when the worse part of the vow is been displayed, they tend to nag, thereby giving room for satan to divide or fracture the unity in the marriage.
One of the hardest lesson about trusting God in our marriage is allowing him to be the change agent in our mates. We always think we're ordained by God to change our spouse. One way to deal with the urge to change our spouse is to concentrate on the positive and allow God to handle the negative by prayers.

Touching

Touching is a very vital element in establishing a good marriage. Some of us come from families that shows much affection while others don't.

Men: most ladies love an arm around their shoulder, holding hands while walking on the street and a hug. They perceives those little gestures as saying "I love you". Touching doesn't necessarily mean it will result to sex, which is most times men's goals. Our wife also touching us doesn't suggest they are in the mood for it. However, we should not always rule out that notion from our mind.

Source

These elements explained above just don't happen over night, it takes several practices but that doesn't give us a sure guarantee for a successful marriage. Certainly, there is 100% possibility it will make a strong marriage stronger and a weak marriage strong

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Compiled by @sbamsoneu for @euronation

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