Love from a concerned male perspective (II)

Recently I published a post on the above topic and tagged it (I)(see here ). Your valuable comments and responses has inspired me to continue on the topic.

Last article featured Sunny and his "supposed girlfriend" Ronke, the unplanned change from ant to giant, the cause of his delusional atttitides and all it entails.

In this article I'll focus more on why I think females or ladies prefer to follow the money and not make the money together. I saw a picture where a guy and his girlfriend were counting money together posted on whatsapp status and tagged "this is what they call love..... make it together", yes it's a guy that posted the picture and no doubt he has a story which I know and I'll love to share with everyone to buttress my point.

His name is Kayode, Kay for short, light in complexion, a little bit on the tall side, robust and he just gained admission into the pharmacy faculty in the prestigious Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile Ife.

He got himself a beautiful girlfriend, that's quite easy for him as he was in the pharmacy department and everyone wants a smart boyfriend, the girlfriend (Khadijat) was in the department of Medical rehabilitation (physiotherapy) and she was also beautiful and everything seemed fine and good.

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According to him they loved themselves so much as parents of both parties were already meeting both of them, as a pharmacy student he was wasting so much time on his girlfriend but he couldn't complain, he requested they both have sex but she gave him the reply "I'm still a virgin", but since it's a mutual agreement he agreed not to bother her till she's ready, but the girl offered him another escape route, when he's hard she might just give him one of those jobs.

Something happened which changed his perspective on girls............. His girlfriend's birthday was coming up in a month and she'll like to celebrate it big, get a hall, invite friends and all characteristics of a big birthday party, friend was just in part one studying pharmacy, how will he pull off a big stunt for his girlfriend?

He decided to play sports bets to make money for his girlfriend, he played bets and he did win but there was problem with the bet site so he couldn't withdraw the money and couldn't get a venue for the birthday party, the girlfriend was enraged and told him not to attend her birthday party, he felt sorry for her and himself.

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Khadijat decided to use a friend's place for her birthday party, meanwhile Kay had been hearing gossips that his "supposed girlfriend" was dating another rich dude but he trusted his girlfriend to the extent that he caught her red handed but he still loved her, after the venue clash, he decided to get money somehow to at least get a cake, buy drinks for the party and others which he did.

The birthday party

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After buying the cake and drinks, he was told buy his girlfriend to attend the birthday party which we advised him not to attend but he did.

On getting to the venue, party had began, we went with him as per our friend, those of our friends who had cars, we went in them to show off at one of our own girlfriend's party.

The party started and we were all grooving and it reached the time of the cake cutting, the MC was going to invite the boyfriend to assist in the cake cutting (anytime we talk about this particular period, we all laugh till we cry😂😂😂), we were getting ready to usher Kay out but in my mind I was like "what if it's not Kay?"

Before the boyfriend was called, Khadijat hurried to our side and was like Kay shouldn't cause any trouble at her party and I knew in my mind that I thought right, MC called the boyfriend and of course it wasn't my dear friend, he almost collapsed where he was but we held him, the rich dude was going to cut the cake he paid for! The cake cutting was done and it was time for dance dance dance. Kayode drank enough alcohol to get him high and he motioned to dance with Khadijat but he was snubbed, all Khadijat's friends felt bad for what their friend did but they couldn't complain, we just watched on in amazement as everything unfolded, we danced to our satisfaction and people that drink drank to their fullest.

When it was time to go, Kayode in his drunk state announced that whosoever is his friend and on his side should come with him in our friend's cars and whosoever is with his "supposed girlfriend" should wait behind, I was surprised at such courage but hell yay it was one of the " rightest " things at that party, people came to our side including most of Khadijat's friend who knows Kay well.

We left that party in a sober state as we felt sorry for Kay but he was going to get over her with us by his side. After that party, he stopped talking to his "supposed girlfriend" and he almost ran AWOL but he had no choice, he failed his exams and had to repeat first year again while Khadijat is now a part two student going to part 3.

Now when asked who falls in love faster male or female? Every lady is quick to say female and who betrays love the most? Every lady still says female. I'm not judging based on the two stories I shared but here's a quick breakdown of what I can judge on, in love, a male tends to judge on physical attributes maybe he's interested in her beauty or other God's handiwork he can see but the female counterpart judges on a whole lot more of things which are; because they’re more likely to expect they’ll stay home with kids at some point, they’re more concerned with whether a man’s job can support a family. Even among career women, wives are more likely to follow husbands around in their jobs than vice-versa. So what sort of a job does he have? (what about an undergraduate? Is he supposed to fend for his girlfriend?).

The impact the job will have on her, “his” job has more impact on “her” status than the reverse. So a waitress who marries a dentist is likely to see her prestige rise to his level. Not so much for the waiter who marries an attorney. (so a female in pharmacy can't date a guy in dramatic arts).

Women are also more likely to marry for reasons other than love, like, “He’s a good stable man with a good stable income.” That leaves women less romantic, on average, and less supposing that there is one perfect love that lasts forever.

All these breakdowns are my own opinions though and I think times are changing in the marriage world but the dating world still differs as I see it, on this note I'll round up by saying both parties have a part to play in a relationship.

I remain yours truly,

Adelani.