Clean up your act

My intention here is to post random stuff. I hope everything is okay. Some things in life are better left alone. Not because they are not worth going into. They are. It is just the pain.

If the wind blows and the tide turns then the tree stays strong and rooted. If it gets struck by lightening and chopped to pieces and ruthlessly swept into the river then I am that tree too.

I know my inner nature. I know I was no saint. I know was not the monster painted either. I can see the concerns but I cannot entertain them. They are not of my making. Not of my projection.

Who am I. I do not know a single person. I claim to and I am wrong. I act more and I imagine less. Is that real living. No. Was this a good idea. No. I don't know. Probably. Probably not. In some ways. Maybe.

The shaman told me be well. Be well he said. Assuming I had it in me to be well. The life purpose said to help. How can one help others when oneself is in need. I hate myself. That is where the repair is needed. Know thyself. Be still and awaken to the realisation of who you are.

There are no answers from the outside. It does not look to look for the answers from the outside. And for the questions from the outside I am under-prepared and terrified. What can I say without walking away. I show the inner workings of a subconscious and lay it out bare.

Nobody is realer than this. But they are because they show their face and are politically correct. Okay, okay. They are. They win. I am happy for their success. So let me play in the corner by myself. It is where I have been alone all my life. So ban me and label me and misunderstand my energy.

I did not project it and display it properly. Or did I. I do not care. I do care. I care too much. Thoughts and such. It is an experiment. It goes wrong. It fails. I am a sinner. Condemned to hell and the devil. I pray to Jesus like any man. I curse and swear and take drugs at festivals.

It isn't a good idea. No. All of my content is NSFW. I do not recommend myself. Disclaimer love is a dangerous game.

On the other hand, who are the social justice warriors blaming. Blame me while Trump is in office. I ain't even mad. Just sayin' and sprayin' shit. I ain't hatin'. If I was hatin' I'd just say fuck you. There I am hatin'. I know they already say fuck me too. No. Not in that way. Not everything I say comes out right. I try not to remember it.

So maybe my ideal vision is to get 0 people.

I'd love to live entirely alone on steemit. That would be hilarious. If I managed a trillion posts. And no monies. That is my next goal. I don't want to be banned. I'd be lying if I said that was true. I will still love myself though. Somewhere else. And you can be sure as shit when I am successful

I am not just burning the bridges here
I am not just burning the boats
I am not just taking the entire fucking island and castle to the cleaners

I am coming back like Caeser

With a soft spot for the indefensible

But not to pity them

Just to let them know

Hey kid

I got myself out of it

It was a fuckload of pain

I'm not here to interfere with your life or tell you how to live it

I am no idol or role model

I am just telling my story

And a reflection of my toxic culture

As disturbing as the environment is

Someone had to

For their own sanity

Because all they saw

Was plastic