It's frustrating when I can't even remember what I use to log into Peak. Peakd. What is it? I don't know. Now I'm typing this in an email draft until Brendan comes back from walking She-Ra so he can tell me how I log into my account. Why am I not logged into it already?
Frustration is how I feel often. Or more like, impatient. Or more like, without patience. Or just, at the end of my rope. Overextended. Drained. Depleted. And it's in large part because I've had something to do, someplace to be, nearly every day this month. I am a person who enjoys solitude, and I've been lacking that in my life of recent years. Since having a kid. Since living in a big city. I don't want to go back to my early 20s when I owned my own car and was very selfish and took myself to parks to just sit and contemplate and journal. I mean, I want to take myself places to just sit and contemplate and journal, but in the now. Take a long bus ride to a beach and sit and contemplate and journal. We, Brendan and I, recently talked about how we should each get a day a week, or maybe alternating weeks, and on that day we can just go off and do a thing that we want to do for ourselves. I mean, covid was a big reason we haven't been doing things like that. It kind of stopped us in our tracks. And I don't want to pretend it's not still with us, but I do want to do days like that.