Rap I wrote still depressing but this ones a little rough tell me what y'all think!

in #rap7 years ago

Metropolitan police stations catching druggies, evading go by street racing, get away no I mean it,get out the fucking basement their raiding,so you better leave it's not meant to be bitch it's not in ya best interest to be thrown away for this shit, selling dope to kids,who cares if they get shit faced,fuck wait a minute was that shit laced?I'm just saying escape their on your tail get scared run away, dye ya hair incospicious then stick with it, go to Mexico the tracks will run cold when you get there,no time to spare pack some mags and plan like magyver,carbon fiber and three lighters to escape gun fire, skidding tires just drive a ton your on the run after seven hours you look out to see the sun,free or at least not caught till the police got you heavy breathing lost in deep thought,regretting like damn that kid looked barely eleven,fuck just keep your mind on this engine revving delve deep into memories,where did it begin where did you start to sin,fuck that when will it end? Once you've lost your family, friends thought zany selling would get you a Benz but all your doing is trying to tie up loose ends and amend the pain you've caused all while praying to escape the law,it's already happening your starting to falter only a matter of time before you fall,becoming an alcoholic in the beginning it was just off and on it but now it's gotten constant no way to stop it your sobbing you hear sirens and see police at the door you spot a cop grab your Glock from the sock drawer get prepared and cock it , thought there'd be more to life but this is it so you squeeze it fist clenched aim forward and pop it a barrage comes through the wall gunfire from them all no stopping you feel your body dropping on furniture toppling you lay there the pain it's life robbing, but that's what you wanted to be gone to stop the nonsense it was consuming you bruising you it's caused more destruction than these drugs could ever do to you now the world is losing you and there's nothing you can do but sit back and feel the blood drain from you...aint no one saving you

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Nice, very vivid truth that you wrote there. I encourage you to break the sentences up into stanzas, so its easier to read. Did you record this as well?

I have not recorded it yet because I have a good idea of what to write I just can never get a beat to sound right with what Ive written,although I guess I could do all my songs Acapella that might be pretty boring though 😂 thank you for the feedback no one has really said anything yet so I really appreciate the advice,

Acapella is actually more powerful because the listener is not distracted by other noises. They are forced to listen to the lyrics. Look into spoken word artists. You will see how some of them are able to move you with just acapella.

Thank you I'm going to look into that I never really thought people would like my stuff without a beat to it, I might make video in a few weeks I've been going through a serious writer's block lately this might give me the drive to get going again,thanks man I appreciate it

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