Things I Don't Understand About Musicals

in #rant7 years ago

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Coming from the land of Bollywood which is a ‘musical manufacturing machine’, you might think that I am lying when I say I absolutely hate musicals! But I am not.

To me, nothing makes sense about them and I think a lot of you might agree with me, but then again, when have movies ever followed logic, or even the laws of physics for that matter.

Still that doesn’t change the fact that there are so many things in a musical that just seem odd and in some cases, plain stupid! I can’t help but cringe the entire duration that a musical is up on the screen right in the middle of a movie.

My friends think that I always overreact but how can I not, when there are so many things wrong with them musicals! Let’s talk about some of these.

1. Everyone Knows The Steps

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A musical usually starts with the main characters who suddenly out of nowhere, start to sing and dance and instead of giving them odd looks, the bystanders decide to join in.

I mean if you were walking down the road and someone near you, started singing loudly and dancing in a well rehearsed manner, would you go, “Huh! You know what? I need some random dancing on the street today. Let me join in.”? No! You would avoid them awkwardly!

And that is not even the cringeworthy part. The bystanders all know the dance steps and all of them dance as if they were high school mates and danced in the same dance group with perfect synchronicity and with cheesy expressions on their faces!!

2. How Do They Know The Lyrics

For a second, we can even imagine people just copying the main character’s dance steps in real time and let the dance steps thing pass. To a certain extent, it can be managed, but what about the lyrics?

We all know that different characters in a musical have their own lyrics to sing. So, if a main character is walking down an alleyway, singing the first paragraph of the song, a random person in a house nearby opens his windows and starts singing the next paragraph!

How does he know when to open his windows? Was he stalking the main character? And more importantly, how does he know the lyrics? Or was he just singing whatever came to his mind….you know, freestyle and stuff!

3. Where's The Music Even Coming From

At a party or at any other event where music is playing and people are dancing, you can always see huge speakers and you immediately know where the music is coming from.

In a musical however, there are all sorts of instruments playing, and yet, you neither see any real-time instrument players nor there is a speaker/mic in sight. So, where does the music come from?

Why do the people in a musical not question the invisible source of music and start running away from the sorcery instead of giving in and having a gala time. I mean would you just start having a fun time if suddenly there was music all around? No! You would freak out and think that it was the work of the aliens!!

4. Animals Singing? What?

It was not enough for them to have humans singing and dancing. They had to go ahead and add animals to the mix! I bet you have seen all sorts of Disney musicals where animals of various variety join the main characters in their performances.

Yeah, I get that it is cute and all but do you know what I think when I see a dog singing in a musical? “Gosh, those people are stupid. If I was them, I would take that dog away. A talking dog is a guaranteed way to get rich!”

Imagine the chaos if animals started singing in the real world. Your cat could finally be able to communicate to you clearly that it intends to kill you in your sleep!! hah!

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I think you're missing the point COMPLETELY.

Suspend your disbelief, stop wallowing in the grey, drab, depressing world of the realist, turn up the colour, turn up the sound and let your soul smile a little...

Pretty sure the OP intentionally missed the point for the sake of comedy, my friend.

He wasn't the only one who intentionally missed the point.

Devil's advocate anyone?

Glad you get it :D

*ahem*, the musical "South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut" is an exception to the rule.

For example, this piece: "Uncle F***er"

LOL that was hilarious!!! Still laughing hahahahahah!!

"--suck my balls"

Fricken hate musicals, nice post.

Haha, me too brother, me too!!

A lot of people do!! ...... fortunately! :D

Very funny blog thank u

Thanks a lot mate! Appreciate it :)

My view is that musicals are love stories with great final scenes. It's just that simple. Musicals are also conflicts between two worlds. And by those criteria, 'The Color Purple' is actually exactly the kind of story that makes for a great musical. Yes, it's got hard stuff in it, but so does 'Les Miserables' and 'Phantom of the Opera
thanks for sharing ,
kindly upvote or retsteem any of my article.
@abbeymelchizedek

Yeah, some of them are great, some are cheesy and some are outright hilarious! haha. It's a mixed bunch. Thanks for the wonderful comment :)

I like musicals, The Sound of Music, Mary Poppins and I cannot remember anymore.Oh I liked that cartoon from last year Sing as well.
In Jamaica when we are on the buses just one random person need to start signing a gospel song then other people start to sing and shout "amen" and "hallelujah".
Also their is this man who walks around with a small "boom box" he sings and play music and people give him money. No magic or aliens in that, even phones can play really loud music nowadays.
Lastly we have street parties here, you are just walking on the street and you see a big crowd and in the center there is music and people dancing. Just for the fun if you think you can dance or you want to "upstage" the person you can join. Of course you know the dance moves, they are making very hot music videos nowadays with all the latest dance moves and stuff.
People in Jamaica like to "build a vibe" as they call it. They are not as organized as the movies or even good singers but they like to have fun. So yeah I like musicals, except the opera.
I went to one because I thought I would here some good singing and boy was I traumatized. This one lady on the stage for most of it singing German in high pitch. And even when they did the group signing I still hated it.

That's nice that people love to have fun and they will start singing along and dancing along just for the fun of it. But that's not what we see in a majority of places.

Yea I don't really like musicals as well. Have you watched LALALAND? It had good ratings but I'm hesitant to watch.

No I decided not to watch La La Land just because it was a musical, even though Ryan Reynolds and Emma Stone are two of my favourites!

My thoughts exactly. Try to act out a musical in real life and you will get beat up!

LOL!!! I can almost imagine them getting beat up! LOL

Chipmunk is good at singing by the way

haha, that's why they use the chipmunk effect in songs more often than they should!! LOL

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