The unhappy reality of racism in South Africa

This blog is a personal, and painful, review of how the term Rainbow Nation is a farce. This makes me incredibly sad, and the actions I witness daily which demonstrate the truth this statement make me uncomfortably aware of the true situation in South Africa. If we are in any way to move forward as a nation, we have to address the nitty gritty of the issues we are facing. We do not waft rainbow hued unicorns, our shit stinks!

1994

The dawn of The Rainbow Nation in South Africa. Thanks to Nelson Mandela, peace, and co-operation between the races, was prioritised, and the horrors of our Apartheid system were ushered into the past. Many white (liberal) people basked in the benevolent approval of the rest of the world, declaring since they were not the architects of Apartheid, and really it wasn't their fault as they were born into that system of discrimination, it was time to move on, hold hands and sing kumbaya.

2017

Helen Zille, former leader of the (liberal, truthfully mostly white) Democratic Party espouses the benefits of colonialism. Social media has erupted into furor over incendiary racist statements made by various white people, comparing black people to monkeys and other extremely onerous statements. Visits to the Equality Court, fines, heated debate, condemnation, and resentful, secret support of the perpetrators of the hateful statements abound. Open racism against white people is also on the rise. Death threats populate social media. Trolls express glee over the horrific Knysna fires as they were perceived to be affecting mostly white people. (Unfortunately in reality it is the poorest sector, most often black people, who will suffer the most as they are not insured, unlike their wealthier white counterparts.)

South Africa, the country I love, my country, is not the shining example of race relations it could be, the inspiration to the rest of the world I wish it was. Numerous events, most especially over the last 10 years, have demonstrated how we are mired in a morass of mutual hatred in this beautiful, tragic country. Ironically, black and white (with all colours and races in between implicitly stated), citizens of this country are some of the most beautiful and friendly citizens of the world. We have a certain naivete, and a puppy-like friendliness which witnesses us going out of our way to please and impress others. This, increasingly, and alarmingly so, does not extend to relations with members of other races in our own country.

A few personal experiences

I live in a medium sized conservative town in South Africa. Increasingly, every day events are causing me pain and confusion. I am finding it extremely difficult to express what I am feeling as I am concerned about it coming across as stereotypical of a certain group of white South Africans. My very first statement: My best friend is of another race is a typical statement made by white liberals. My daughter even says it in it's specific voice "oh yew knaw, some of my best friends are black, darling". I feel by stating the race of my best friend, I am somehow trying to ingratiate myself with the la-di-da white liberal sector and impress those of the black races with my genuineness.

Seriously, fuck that. I have a non-white best friend. We know all the details of each other's lives. We don't do coffee where everybody can see us being politically correct with each other. We visit, we don't tidy our houses, or our cars for each other and we talk for hours, sometimes seriously, and sometimes a load of shit. She cares for my children as her own and I care for her children. Well actually I love them. Ironically, it is through the children, hers and mine, most of the truths of our society have been revealed to me.

Schools, neglecting the greatest lesson of all

I will begin with what sparked this blog. There are a number of schools in our town, and the two biggest high schools have had a friendly rivalry for years, culminating in a Derby Day. Since the years I attended school in the same town, the two high schools have become racially segregated. Children of all races attend both schools, but one is considered dominantly white, and the other dominantly black. My friend's daughter is in her first year at the black high school and is a keen hockey player. Her mom has been coaching the hockey team and attended the sporting event. I was at an auction. On Monday my friend visited me. If there is one word I could use to define her, it would be tough. She was wiped out. The unrelenting racism of the white children and parents exhausted her. Parents shouted "kry daai kaffertjies, kry daai coolies" (get those...really insulting word for blacks and indians...) These same parents were the ones who could be witnessed in the local newspaper taking underprivileged (black) kids to MacDonalds. What really hurt me was the reaction of my friend's daughter, who is mixed race. She said, "mom, I wish there was some kind of suction device that could suck all the white blood out of me." 

My friend, who is also on the school board, visited me the next day, even more deflated.  A heated meeting was held, and many points had to be removed from the minutes. A couple of white schools in towns were accused of being a breeding ground for...nazis? The unfortunate truth of this statement exhausts me. In an effort to provide my children the best (government) education, I have sent them to the schools where, frankly, most white people send their kids to. My kids aren't racist at all. (Here I sound like a white liberal again, but take it how you like.) But, I have witnessed certain incidents, subtle in the way that defies confrontation, which have made me horribly uncomfortable.

One day my daughter was not well and I had to go to school to collect her. While I waited in the reception area, I noticed the attitude of the reception staff when white children approached them, as opposed to when black children approached them. They must have felt it was fine to act this way as I was a white witnessing this.

My daughter likes to bake and often brought cupcakes for a friend. (yes, sigh, black). One day she and her friend stayed behind in class for a few minutes at break time and swapped food. Her friend had made some banana bread and my daughter ate it.  The young white teacher changed her attitude toward my daughter 180 degrees, as she had eaten something proffered by black fingers. (I presume.)

My middle son has had the same black friend since pre-school. He gets good grades and is a good child, but is not well accepted at school. It doesn't bother him, but I know his school experience could be better. In his Grade 4 year he was actively bullied by a teacher, who I much later discovered called my friend's daughter an abomination (because she is mixed race) during her brief stint at the same school.

I had more or less decided to send my son to the black high school in two years time. I have discovered their educational standards are good and my son doesn't see colour. Since the disastrous Derby Day it (unofficially) seems they will not be accepting white students into their school in the future. And here I offer an unpalatable fact to white people. This country is run by black people. The school you attend may influence work opportunities, or just plain attitudes to your children in the future.

Right now, there is so much hate in our un-Rainbow Nation. We have Julius Malema espousing death and destruction to white people, and his message is falling on fertile ground. Not all whites are racists, and not all blacks hate whites, but we have a serious problem in this country, and I am personally witnessing the deterioration of race relations in this country. Many white people leave the country, that is not an (economic) option to me. A big part of me is glad about this economic limitation of my opportunities as I am an African. The sun, the wide blue sky , the land, the veld speak to my heart and tell me I'm home. Will I die at home? Honestly I'm not afraid of death, sometimes I long for that peace, but I am very much afraid of my children's suffering.

It seems that not only in South Africa, there is so much hate in this world. How can we create a better future for our children. Personally, I can only be myself, and lead by whatever limited example that might be. It feels like a drop in the ocean.

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images: pixabay