Black. Canadian. But Not Quite Canadian
It is easy to say that being black in Canada should be a smooth experience considering we live in a first world country that didn't have slavery, however, the black Canadian experience is still not the Canadian experience others may have.
As a black Canadian we are consistently fighting to have an identity that makes sense to ourselves and apparently others too. Far too many times I have been told "oh you're
Canadian? But what are you really?" As if my blackness does not warrant my Canadian identity. If you tell people your "background" a word that is used far too often in this country and identifies your ethnicity as what your parents are, it is still not accepted by those born in that country who wouldn't dare consider you one of them. So where do you turn when you can no longer bare the confusion revolving around just one simple question that deserves a simple answer. Far too many of us black Canadians find ourselves stuck between two worlds that undoubtedly coincide but contradict at the same time. My Canadian experience is a black experience which also is a Caribbean and a Jamaican experience but there is also the underlying white experience.
Growing up in a country where the people around you are predominantly white and
we are forced to conform, we find ourselves tucking away our blackness and bringing
it back out when we are home and comfortable. A type of experience where no matter how hard you try to adapt, your blackness will always show. Our skin color will always show up to introduce ourselves first no matter how many words have already been spoken. Your black name causes confusion and mispronunciations among your white counterparts even leaving your resume overlooked when seeking a job opportunity or being scoffed at every time someone struggles to say your name in a group setting. This is just the tip of the iceberg. My Canadian experience leaves people watching me twice as hard in a store, overlooked for promotions, avoided by potential clients, suspicious to police, not trustworthy enough to get a loan at the bank, viewed as broke, prejudged as strong when I am at my most vulnerable, assumed to be less intelligent and white washed if you are intelligent, seen as less desirable and more aggressive than white women and other lighter skinned ethnicities and it goes on and on.
My Canadian black experience is not unique nor is it old. It is the same experiences others that look just like me are facing. The question lies, how can we maneuver through such an experience and still have the crucial strong self identity we so often crave? The answer is it doesn't matter. We are unique and we are all of those identities warped into one and that's okay. We are allowed to be a multifaceted people with an abundance of flavor, culture, and perspectives to offer. We add so much value to the Canadian experience although it may not feel appreciated. Whenever you feel a sense of self doubt creeping up on you, remember
this, no one can ever define us and put us into a box just so they can make sense of us. Let your identity compliment you and not define you. Let your identity become like art on a canvass, its yours to create and reveal its beauty to the world. Be proud. Be courageous. Be authentically every you.