The Quiet Hot

s-anon (42)in #quiet • last year (edited)

Four years ago I had a foray in a mental hospital. I dove too deep into enlightenment past fear and got burned. Tried to jump in the river and breathe water as a result.
While in the hospital a very sweet young girl gave me this poem.

This is what it said:
Written with a pen
Sealed with a kiss
If you love me
Please answer this
Do you love me
Or do you not
You told me once
But I forgot
You gave me hope
So I could fly
Now I lay here
And sit and cry
Do you love me
Or do you not

This inspired me to respond:

Written with 5 pens alone
Sealed with a shake
I know you truly love me God
I pray this yoke you take
I know you love me
I haven’t forgot
You’ve told me twice
And thrice and more
I hear you knocking
On my door
You gave me hope
And faith and love
So I could fly
To the stars above
I will stay
As long as you say
And cry a happy little cry
Each day
I know what the quest is now
And I know what it is not
It is the long and winding journey
To find the beautiful quiet hot

Memory is a Comet
And the unconscious chooses
What stays forever
And what it looses

What’s discarded fades away
To oblivion it’s lost
Like debris in its tale
It doesn’t mind the cost

So what makes us human
What defines conscious thought
It’s the lesson the heart takes
In each experience taught

Strong memories are the ones
We feed ourselves again
Good or bad, happy or sad
It’s where the journey began

You’ve heard tell of wolves and war
The battle raging inside
Don’t fear I know which to feed
And which I should not hide

I know who I am now
And who I am not
Thank you for the time and help
I found the quiet hot

Sometimes this…
Sometimes that…
Always Life
Always Love
Live Long
Love Life
And don’t forget
Enjoy the journey

Love is a choice
Life is a gift
Live the choice
Love the gift

Stay out of the past
Pain is only temporary
And the future always has potential
To be brighter than right now
Have a little hope and faith
And a whole lot of love

iMAGIne aCt
Be the change you want to see

It is not our job to punish or judge
Just teach and learn with patience and compassion

Happiness isn’t a goal or a destination
It need not be chased or pursued
It simply springs from a tranquil heart
Resting in the loving hands of Christ

We are all just signal relays
Learn to be still and listen

Four years later I came face to face with my demons and ended up in a mental hospital called eagle view. Dove too deep into desire this time and got burned again. This is what I wrote after that experience.

I peered into the void of the quantum blindspot. All I saw there was myself trapped in the insanity of my own sin. All I heard was my voice telling me to do horrible things. All I did was hug myself and resolve never to give in even if I would be trapped there for eternity.

And as soon as it began, the experience ended. It was then that I realized what someone with no sin would see when they peered into that void.
Simply an unborn child, resting peacefully in the loving womb of the universe.
We are the child, we are the womb
What are you feeding it?

While I was there I met so many beautiful sweet souls that were lost in themselves. I tried to help as many as I could. Some of them drew me pictures.

Travis was the first person we met.
He was really struggling inside himself
We talked a bit and told him he was a good person and deeply loved.
He just needed to love himself
He had a good cry
It’s ok to cry
After that he was always walking around with a big friendly smile on his face.

The second person we met was a dragon named Charity
She was suffering from paranoia and horrible voices in her head.
We talked a long time about taking every thought captive and feeding it through dragon fire aka: Christ
So he could give them back to her pure.
We prayed together and the voices stopped
Sometimes a dragon just needs a little hug.
Seriously misunderstood creatures dragons are.

The next person we met was Ashley.
She was suffering too but she taught me an important lesson.
She drew this for me.

The fourth person we met was Emily. She didn’t like us at all when we first met. She said we talked too much and pontificated. But she held up a good mirror though and we thanked her for that. We became good frienimies after that. Taught each other a lot when we both opened up our boxes and listened to each other. I asked her for a picture too and she gave me this…

What is the quiet hot?
It is the still quiet waters of your mind.
It is passion and fire that burns in your heart.
Time to ignite the forges in your heart.
Time to stand up out of apathy and complacence.
Time to get up and wage war on indifference.
Time to break down all barriers and unify all cults
Time to evangelize

Who am I?
I’m a nobody.
I’m just your everyday average Joe
I’m just a reasonably intelligent guy who learned how to listen.
I’m a dog at heart that believes we can all find a way to come together.