Queen Elizabeth's Complicated Relationship with Princess Diana

Most of the public knows the relationship between Queen Elizabeth and Princess Diana based on what is seen in the series The Crown.

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In the series, Princess Diana is portrayed as a lonely outsider immersed in royal splendor, and only helplessly witnessing her husband's infidelity.
But in reality, Princess Diana was no outsider. Queen Elizabeth is the godmother of Diana's sister, Charles Spencer. Diana's father, Viscount Althorp, had been the queen's personal maid.

Princess Diana clearly knew how to handle the nobility although according to Andrew Morton, author of Diana: Her True Story, Diana admitted to being afraid of her mother-in-law.

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In the book, Morton mentions from the start Diana and Charles did not get along at all. Especially when she was still engaged, Diana had suspected that her future husband would never really end his affair with Camila.

It made Princess Diana depressed and bulimia. And no one helped him, as Ingrid Seward writes in her book, The Queen and Di.

"Almost everyone, from the queen to the staff who cared for Diana. All attributed her behavior to a bad 'nerve' disease," Seward wrote.

But after Princess Diana and Prince Charles married, Seward said Queen Elizabeth paid more attention to Diana. In fact, the two of them have a strong bond.

The Princess of Wales and the Queen attend the Opening of Parliament in London, November 1982. Diana is wearing a white fur coat and the Spencer tiara. (Photo by Terry Fincher/Princess Diana Archive/Getty Images) Foto: Terry Fincher/Princess Diana Archive/Getty Images
"I have the best mother-in-law in the world," Diana said, according to Seward's book.

But as Diana and Charles' relationship got worse, so did Queen Elizabeth. In fact, according to Seward, the royals are starting to fear the princess's emotional unscheduled visit.

Queen Elizabeth is said to really want to help her daughter-in-law, but she doesn't know how to do it. This was conveyed by Patrick Jephson, Diana's personal secretary, in the documentary Two Golden Queens.

"For Princess Diana, there was hope that somehow the queen intervened to save their marriage," Jephson said.

"But there is a communication problem between two very different generations. Between two strong women. There is an old school of royal thought about how Diana should stop being so silly."

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In a video recorded by Diana's voice coach, Peter Setelen, the princess can be heard telling how she cried for the queen's help in marriage. The footage was shown in the 2017 documentary Diana in Her Own Words.

"So I went to the queen and said, 'I don't know what to do'. She said, 'I don't know what to do either'. And that's it. It was her help," Diana said.

Until then Princess Diana died in an accident in 1997. The Queen felt the incident was very traumatic and hoped that everything that happened and affected the incident would never be repeated.
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