Life Of a niqqa

Listen, listen, listen Linda.
Isn't it so funny how much times have changed?
Is it just me or have we taken a giant step backwards in the progress, the sufferage, and dying love our ancesors gave to us?
I'm not sure if you all will find this to be a " bullying" type article but to me it is . Not only have we found ourself so easily bullying others but this is focusing on how we have constantly bullied ourselves. The biggest crime in becomeing a bully is bul( Lying) to ourself into believing something so far from the truth.
I'm not going to lie. . . I am the WORST victum of beating myself up for the approval of someone else, although I don't do it on purpose the damage continues to be done! A lot of it comes from the words I constantly hear my friends and family saying to me and it drillls through my ear drums nd wedges its way into my brain where it sits and lets me process and feeds itself on the lies and truths that are so blurred that they become one and i can no longer tell them apart.
But I didn't write this article because I'm being dramatically bullied in the sense that my body has physical marks indicating something happened. . . or that online people can't stop "hating" but the type of bullying that happens in the silence and drags me into the dark. The kind that doesn't hit you like a 2 ton truck cruzin the freeway, but a cool breeze that after it passes sends a wave of chills down your spine.
There was a time when I didnt let the color of my skin affect the way people treated me, the names they called mewhere nothing other then the formulated letters on my birth certificate. but I lost myself in the hustle and bustle of bullying myself and changing my frame of mind to accomidate those who didnt really matter in my life and bei. After I got lazy, and as I grew up I let it slide every once in a while. . . and then I even found myself joining in on it. Whats the harm in it it's just one word. . .
-- "a foolish man"---
Justifying the reasons it was ok becoming someone I wasnt, "im foolish sometimes", Hidng the sting of there words, "its just a joke", accepting the lie, "well thats what's in my blood".
I bullied myself so much so that it became comforting, the norm, and acceptible.
My my how the times have changed and when the struggle of not even counting as a whole person in the sate you resided in because of the color of your skin was a struggle became. . . i'm too lazy to get up and fix myself something to eat is a sturggle.
Listen, listen, listen linda
Shits changed