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RE: Pornography and Me: How and why I escaped.
Shame. Always the shame and disgust with ourselves.
I remember once that someone said that all women fantasize about rape. Maybe so, but for me it was always from the point of view of being the rapist, the one with the power.
Maybe this also explains why many abused go on to abuse. That need to be the one in control from the other side.
Thank you for reading, @unleash.
In my experience, fantasies can represent reenactments of the past, or fears of the future. Of course, they can also be simply imaginative. Given that some statistics suggest as many as 1 in 3 females are sexually abused before the age of 18, it is very possible that that (if accurate) these fantasies represent a renegotiation of those abuses. This is a complex and vast topic.
The best explanation I have heard for those who were abused going onto abuse is exactly what you describe: The abuser (once a victim themselves) recasts themselves as the powerful one, and outsources the unfelt emotions onto the 'victim' who now expresses the pain.
Sadly, society has yet to fully explore these dynamics and rarely considers the origin of most crimes.