I don't have many memories from my childhood, but I do remember being lied to. I suspect my parents lied to me because they didn't think I could understand the truth, although I remember being capable of understanding it.
Additionally, I remember being treated as if I were far less intelligent than I actually was, perhaps because my speaking skills were lacking. That probably made people think My comprehension was lacking as well.
This post is relatable to me; I've sworn that if I have kids, they will not be talked to like I was.
I think it relates to most of us. Think is, will we do the same to our kids?
I believe you have to put a lot of effort into changing your self when you have a kid. Its so easy to just become a replica of your own parents. I had to dig deep and really decide what kind of values i wanted to embrace. That was hard, since my own upbringing was not great. When i see how my parents never had any conciousness about children and upbringing..no real love. I believe they think they have love, but it really never showed it the way that mattered. They did not prepare me for the world. They did not try to bring the best out of me. They met my concerns with anger. They pushed me into things i did not want ( not encouraging me into things like you should..but pushing me) and honestly i think they never really cared to understand who i am. My dad is the kind of person who needs a lot of confirmation, and wants the light to shine on him, rather on his own kids.
Most of the times parents get caught up into their own whirl and children end up paying for it.
I always believed that having kids is one of the most selfish acts humans can perform. It is literally self worshipping. This is why many parents care about how the kids reflect on them rather than caring for who their kids are.
Sure. But I dont really consider selfishness a bad virtue. Its very natural and self preserving to be selfhis. So I dont understand why one does not want your kids to be the best persons they can be. Right? I love him because i want him to be a better, happier and more content version of me, because i want my genes to move forward and improve. I want him to be able to provide for his kids even better than im able. I wanna put effort into enabeling him, not destroying him to make me look good or to be a copy of me. I want for him to have a better life. Thats what i really never understood with my dad. Why did he keep trying to put me down, disencourage me, make me weak instead of strong. Sure it was probably not intentional. More like mindlesness. Thats "evil" to me.
I didn't say it is a bad virtue. I think it is the best virtue one can have. I am describing something.
Ok :) I misunderstood you. Most people are altruistuc and consider selfishness the worst virtue.
:) I wrote this a while back
The Myth of Selfishness
Interesting perspective. Ive read a lot of Ayn Rand and it has helped me more than anything else in life.
Good example how not to do !
you are in better position now, then your parents was...
=]