Projecting Part 1 - The Fear We Hold Onto is the Love We Deny Ourselves

in #psychology4 years ago (edited)

Is Fear a Welcome Guest in Your Life?

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The Root Stock of Negative Emotion

Fear is where it all begins. It is the root of all negative emotions; everything can be traced back to this point. The relationship we have with it is the archetypal one of master and slave. We either transcend it, or become subservient.

When placed under the microscope, it is possible to view this emotion as a duality within itself, despite already being of the opposite polarity to love. And although, not a desirable feeling, it does have a positive application in the short-term, serving as an instinctual reaction to danger. It is the classic fight and flight response, and one, which has seen the human race flourish through its ability to adapt and survive through this mechanic.

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Can We Not Evolve past It?

For most of us living in the modern world though, the necessity for this is largely redundant, and we experience fear more as a construct of the conscious mind. We play out endless scenarios, speculating over a future that is usually out of our control. Very rare is it, we dare to believe everything will work out in our favour. The more drastic the outcome, the more we tend to believe it.

In doing so, we unwittingly invite fear into our life. By narrowing our perception so much that we cannot intuit anything else but disaster, we give our power away with each passing thought. We become more and more beholden to its grasp.

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Perception Deception

The challenge we are faced with, then, is retaining as wide a focus as possible to maintain clarity. Similar to when camera is zoomed in on a wall, if that is all you could see, that would be your experience based on perception. However, shorten the focal length, and it becomes clear, that actually, the wall isn’t that big at all, and you can easily walk around it.

The wall represents the blockage your fear is creating by magnifying a perceived issue. When we are emotionally invested so much in this way, there is a tendency to believe that ‘when’ it comes to pass, nothing will ever be the same again. This further entrenches us into the fear trap.

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Spoon-fed from Birth

There is such an emphasis on assault, theft and death within mainstream media; we become conditioned to accept these as the norm, instead of the exception. Fear is weaponised, these events planted as seeds within our conscious that we reference when triggered.

We create a prison for ourselves that has no bars or ceiling, and are free to walk out of any time we please. Instead, we hold ourselves hostage with the consequences of events that have not happened, and most likely never will! Why? Is it what we feel we deserve?

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The Fear Advantage?

Fear is a learnt response, and can therefore be unlearnt, with the keys to release us from this mental and emotional martyrdom already in our possession. They exist in the form of choice. There is no reason to live in fear, as it serves no long-term purpose other than to cloud rationale judgment, and keep us within our current paradigm. Subservient.

However, a counter balance can be made to this, taking into account its dualistic nature. It can be defined as an inhibitor to progress, but also a catalyst, providing the incentive for change, by showing us what it is we don’t want.

Although, to process in this way, requires discernment and resilience, both qualities that overcoming your fear help to integrate and bring to the fore more often. Hence, the more you condition yourself to let go and refocus, looking beyond that wall in front of you, the easier it becomes.

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The Irony of Avoidance

Diving a little deeper in the darker side of this emotion, though, and the connotations it holds. It is possible to drift so far into that polarity, it prejudices the thought process to the extent you become the victim of your own fear-based decisions.

For example, take someone, who, having been so hurt by the breakup of relationship; they give up on ever committing again, to avoid such loss. They do not allow themselves to love or be loved, and become emotionally unavailable, leading to bitterness, victimhood and more, depending on the level of investment.

It is an example of extremity, but one that is entirely possible, with a clear through line running from the root cause to the manifestation of symptom and circumstance.

And if this pattern of behaviour is reinforced over many years, it can be extraordinarily difficult to break the cycle. It can become more comfortable to live in a paradigm of fear than to even contemplate opening back up, emotionally. There is blindness, and dogmatism, because it does not appear to be worth it.

Fear is a dense, and powerful emotion, which, if not acknowledged as such, and recognised when it has take hold, can lead to a life of stagnation and ruin, when seated as the dictator of our actions.

Do not let fear become the sponsoring thought that conditions the rest of your life.

Pictures: https://pixabay.com/


This is an extremely short piece and goes into nothing like the depth that could be explored.

Do you agree with the piece? What layers would you add?

What is your perspective and experience in dealing with fear?


Previous Articles in the Series

Projecting Part 1 - The Fear We Hold Onto is the Love We Deny Ourselves
Projecting Part 2 - Manufacturing Adversity: The Projection of Ego
Projecting Part 3 - Radical Acceptance: The Falsehood of Expectancy
Projecting Part 4 - Honesty is the Greatest Form of Courage


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Thanks you for sharing.
Fear for the past, fear for the future are two thieves we often give free access into our lives to rob us clean.
They cart away our happiness, love, positivity and productivity.
Running from fear amounts to fear. Stand tall against whatever it may be and come out victorious.
Thanks @samboomer

Thanks @kingspiration That's the point I wanted to make with this post. I lot of people don't realise that by avoiding fear that in itself is fear. The fear of being in fear. It is only by tackling it head on that we can continue on our path pf personal growth.

Yea ,so many people fear FEAR itself

This post has received a 13.78 % upvote from @boomerang.

This post has received a 0.92 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @samboomer.

Great post ! I think people may recognize their fear and hope they find you in you online sessions......

Thank you! Although, it definitely wasn't my intention to incite fear in order to gain clients!

No I didn't read it that way. I also resteemd your article, for it's very well written how easy fear can step into your life.

Thank you @marionsworld. I am very grateful :)

You're very welcome ! Sorry I don't have that much followers yet..... (working on it) :-)

It's the intention I appreciate. 😉

Fear is a part of basic emotional instincts and it evolved as an integral part of fear. However, today we are living in a different world where we don't face the same challenges and that is why we have epidemic of anxiety and depression.

Yep, very true, that's the point I was trying to communicate. It, or rather we, hold ourselves hostage when we allow it to take hold of our lives.

I used to be afraid of many things and I probably still am.

That being said, I did reach a point in my life where the thought of not doing or experiencing things because of fear or because of losing a false idea of security scares me even more.

One could say that at this point, I actually welcome fear because it serves as an indicator of me actually being emotionally invested into something.

And pursuing something that you are invested in is one of the most satisfying things one can do.

Yeh, I see where you're coming from, totally, and I actually explore the concept of fear showing us how much we care about a given situation or outcome in another piece I've written. Fear, or nervous excitement, shows us that this thing, lets just say, an event with tangible outcome, like an exam is worth investing effort into. In a way it's a measure worth.

Dealing with fear is a skill which is good because skills can be trained and improved. With enough practise, you can face your fears without giving into a fight or flight response. Pausing and thinking makes scary things much less scary and helps someone to figure out the troublesome topics.

Exactly, it's all about increasing your capacity to deal with it in incremental levels of intensity. You're right in what you say about stopping to pause, as well. It's the responsive vs reactive mindset.

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I was posting my introduction on steemit when I realized I was gripped with fear with writing about myself! This was the first article that popped up on my feed right after. This synchronicity is a reminder that I’m on the right path. Thank you.

That's amazing! I experience many synchronicities myself, daily. It's nice to now that I can provide one for someone else for a change!

Fear is a spirit. It is faith in the opposite direction

Hmm, interesting. You're suggesting that the emotion of fear is a consciousness unto itself?

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