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RE: I was Spanked and I Turned Out OK—or did I?
Another great piece @sterlinluxan ... I'm sure there's still some subconscious trauma I'm holding onto from some of the rather aggressive spanking my dad carried out. I'm curious to know what you think of time-outs as well... and what peaceful parenting methods you've seen that can take the place of "punishments" being doled out. Thanks! Looking forward to reading more.
Thanks, Randy. I am not as opposed to timeouts as hitting, but it is still a form of punishment. If possible, I think using communication, modeling, and teachable moments is the best way to help children. Whenever we use punishers, we model to our children that these are acceptable methods of handling problems. And we know from the literature that negative punishers are not as helpful as positive reinforcement.
One thing that is pretty useful is the paradoxical teaching. This means when a child is being destructive or causing problems, it might work to ask them to act out and to fully express their feelings in the moment. This will allow children to come to terms with their emotional content, and it may allow them to calm down quicker. However, this may not be appropriate for all children.
I have more ideas, but these are a few quick thoughts. Thank's for the comment.