Conflict in relationships threatened territory

Where there are people, there is relationship and constantly conflict. Conflicts are part of the nature of the relationship, whether loving, professional or family.

We tend to think of conflict as something purely negative, but psychology knows that often the clash is necessary in relations arising new adjustment possibilities. It is an opportunity for the person to stop, rethink and have to find more creative ways and satisfactory coexistence, and thus the mature relations.

Many people, however, to find themselves in a clash choose a different path, opting for early removal or disruption of their relations, as a way to resolve the agonizing question and uncomfortable. This may be a possibility, but I see that one of the reasons people give up before the time is simply not understanding each other, and especially themselves.

This difficulty of understanding is related, among other things, a non-space perception of importance that the other occupies in their relations in this space we can name: the territory of action.

The territory of activity is one of the most valuable aspects for us and often we do not realize. It is the place we build psychically and imagine being valued, loved and respected for it.

To read or not demarcated territory requires good observation and reflection, because there is no defined line that clearly show us this, but see it and respect it can avoid unnecessary conflicts or improve their quality.

How to read the territory?

Both animals and humans need to demarcate their territory, beyond geographical, men and women symbolically build existence and performance of territories. Ali determine its place of power and comfort and any threat or invasion generates conflict, often we are reacting and protecting our territory or threatening the other's territory, and not perceive.

For example, who have never seen a new employee be boycotted by a co-worker. It is natural that the new arrives with energy and new ideas and this can pose a threat to those who are already the longest in function and has already established its territory of activity.

In the family, the new father's girlfriend may pose a threat to the child. The father's attention to the strange woman may be invading the territory already established between father and daughter. The anguish of being forgotten by the father grows and conflicts arise through jealousy and daughter behaviors to get more attention.

The human being when it feels threatened can have extreme reactions, attack if haywire, get away, if weakening.

How to identify the territories of acting?

The first step is to observe and listen. When we look closely identified territories. Exaggerated reactions, both in speech as in behavior can be signs that someone is reacting to a threat, even if imaginary.

And most importantly, we include in this process, realizing and identifying our own territory, when we feel threatened and are reacting to it.

Having this perception is important because when we face a violent reaction from the other instead of us hurt yourself or internalize the blame, we can consider the possibility that the reason for the reaction is insecurity. So we extended the vision of the environment and seek new ways to strengthen the emotional ties or professional rather than threaten them. When we feel safe, we do not react, we can disarm the defenses and allow the relationship to develop and mature.