After reading your comment @florentina , I wanted to say that I am glad you didn't stoop down to your ex's level. The pressure others give us is a huge part of some of societies issue. Some can get under the skin and make us give in (because they make others feel it is supposed to be that way, whether we like it or not). I am glad to hear there ARE parents who follow their heart. For that reason, your kids will get further in life and know how to handle things. Your step-kids will only know how to handle things aggressively and that is not good. I also like that you said you would do it all over again :-) I still to this day, feel guilt about the few times I spanked my son. I will never be able to forget the look on his face (that was the last time I hit him). He is not afraid of me, but it took a few years to overcome that, anytime he did something I was not ok with. I hope these posts help others.