Why Gentleness and Kindness are not in anything except that they beautifies it

in #psychology6 years ago (edited)

kindness4.jpg
Image from : Flickr


Introduction


I have never seen anything so admirable as gentleness and kindness if applied correctly, recently I was opportuned to be at a meet-up organized by noble people, which I will like to mention their names, but sorry, I won’t, because I have not sought their attention as regards to that.

During the meet-up, while the program was going on, I wanted to ease myself, being a shy type, I did not have an alternative than to take an excuse, on getting out, I could not find my slippers, I first thought someone had used it and dropped it somewhere. I waited for good two days before I could set my eyes on it again, that moment, I saw one of the attendees holding it while trying to keep it somewhere. Hmm, do not be surprised! The person is just suffering from Kleptomania, because, am very sure he can afford to buy not only one but thousands.

I approached him and I told him that the slippers he was holding resembles mine, he exclaimed like a stutterer, that the slippers were his and that I should look for mine. I paused for a while and gently walked away from him to my position, he was watching me while I was walking away till I got to my position, twenty-thirty minutes later, he came back to me with my slippers and sought my forgiveness for stealing my slippers and that he was also looking for his own which resembles mine. Through kindness and gentleness, I was not only able to recover my slippers but also change his orientation and later had a nice interaction with the fellow colleague.


Diving into subject matter


Kindness has been referred to as interpersonal skill which encompasses many qualities such as affection, warmth, gentleness, concern, friendly, caring, generous, and an act of being considerate while Gentleness effects the way will interact, communicate with people which reflect caring, consideration and less harsh.

By RTG [Public domain or Beerware], [via Wikimedia Commons]

Many times, we try to correct people’s mistake by using a wrong methodology and as such people turn down our good and sincere efforts without listening, let alone making any positive impact in their lives, even when we have the means to do so.

Our inability to express or communicate to others with kindness and gentleness always resolves to unnecessary disputes.

No doubt, in this jungle we called life, we rely much more on one and others and communication either through physical contact or social media are integral part of our lives, no doubt, how effective and healthy our communication is: determines the number of connection and successful one becomes. Taking steemit as a case study, the quality of the followers you have is directly proportional to how successful you become on the platform. In all honesty, it takes many things couples with kindness and gentleness to have quality followers who keep in touch always.


Many people are happy to see their number of followers being increased, but fail to find out the number of genuine followers who have stopped visiting their blog, not because they do not post quality articles, but just because of the way they have interacted with their followers in the past. Some people are so harsh in nature to the extent that it always reflect in their comments, rather than appreciating a post, they start their comment with a destructive criticism, even if the benefits of the post outweigh the flaws in such posts.


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Image from : Pixabay

I have never been a supporter of plagiarism and I will not be one, not because no one likes to be associated with it, but because I believe in originality. However, let's imagine a writer who composed a good article of almost about 1500 words with just a sentence related to another sentence from different article or blog.

To start by accusing the fellow of plagiarism might be unfair and yields no positive results, rather appreciating the post first and then call the user's attention to such a sentence. Correct application of kindness and gentleness have a long way to go in the lives of both the users and the commentators, but most times we ignore this ethic by focusing on who to label or attach with the word 'plagiarizer' as if we are to police one and others.


Through Gentleness and Kindness, one can turn destructive criticism to advantage and change people's orientation from bad to good habit. However, constructive criticism is healthy and should be appreciated always.

The followings have been recommended to be applied as a counter measures against destructive criticism which sabotages one's sense of worth.

  1. Sort the constructive from the destructive.
  2. Be mindful, and notice when an insult is happening.
  3. Consider the source.
  4. Listen and ask questions
  5. Define the criticism's relevance.
  6. Thank them.
  7. Accept it.


Conclusion


Gentleness and Kindness are often used interchangeably, however, gentleness is one of the attributes of kindness and easy to reflect in the happy mood but very difficult to reflect, especially when being hurt.

By re-introducing the quality of gentleness to our body, we can begin to be aware of where we have become hard and rough with ourselves, with others and vice versa. source

As we develop and understand what gentleness feels like, anything that is not gentle really stands out. This enables us to easily see and feel what is loving and gentle and what is not. From there we have the ability to say no to what disrupts or contradicts the feeling of gentleness we know and live in our body. source


Thanks for being gentle while reading through, your kindness thoughts are important.


References
1. The Importance of Kindness
2. Why is gentleness important?
3. What is stealing?
4. The Power of Gentleness
5. A culture of gentleness is also about being able to be vulnerable
6. How to Respond Gracefully to Destructive Criticism
7.7 Ways to Turn Destructive Criticism to Your Advantage


All images are from free source websites (pixabay, flickr and wikimedia)


If you write STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) related posts, consider joining #steemSTEM on discord here. If you are from Nigeria, you may want to include the #stemng tag in your post. You can visit this blog by @stemng for more details. You can also check this blog post by @steemstem here and this guideline here for help on how to be a member of @steemstem. Please also check this blog post from @steemstem on the proper use of images devoid of copyright issues here.

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I am reaaly happy to read this kind of posts, in particolar when one of the main topics is kindness, something that it is going to be lost in every day life.
I support you with my (little) upvote and I hope that Stem supports you too!!!
Good Job!

Thanks for your support @monica90, your kindness to this post will always be remembered.

Many people like this support him :)
We have all the necessary tools to build whole communities in this way, we just have to take the initiative and put the work hours in :D
I am the co-founder of @steemromania, a community based on prosocial behaviour. Exactly like that. A very nice and good social experiment where we try to support each other with education, training and advice regarding everything in life. Everyone needs education, which never actually stops.
It's what creates old wise people instead of grumpy old people :D

Well said @alexdory, I just followed the said blog. I hope to be reading more interesting posts on the blog.

It's us who do the training, but using the community account, giving back to the community, when we have time and wish to help :P
We will actually write a community whitepaper to share the knowledge and whatever results we will have by then. So that other communities might use it.

But so far it's working!
Thanks!

Indeed, you are one of the very few people who I shared this idea with.
Psychology has proven time and time again that a different approach is needed to stimulate people positively in order to motivate them and engage them in positive actions.

It's why I find reason and order in what others find only circle-jerking, if you put together people who want to learn and make money and people with an interest in not only reading, but also educate and sharing knowledge you might have a success story.

Not to mention that some of the people who engage here are people who stroked out at least once, and this is giving them a chance to try again, with more open minds and hearts. Which is beneficial to their education.

There's a lot to be said, but I am glad I find people who think in a similar way. Someone has named this effective altruism and i think it's what conveys the idea best.

I think that together we can raise the kindness bar here by offering effective ways to create communities and less policing and enforcing will be needed. But we have work to do :P

Thanks, @alexdory, I am glad to read your beautiful and sound thought. The importance of psychological articles can never be overlooked and I strongly beleive that we can achieve more together.

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