Are you ready to remove the mask? □ Yes □ No
At the end of August of this year our small family will celebrate an anniversary. It has been 4 years since we were married, 5 years since we were engaged and 6 years since we met.
Oh my God, 6 years! This period can be compared to a lifetime of a child, who is about entering school. But for me it seems like one moment, on the one hand, and on the other hand, like an eternity.
When I met my future husband, he asked me, "Do you realize that choosing a man, you choose your road in life?”
Yes, I do. I understand the meaning of this phrase. I realized that my husband’s lifestyle and profession would influence my own life. I wondered, for example, whether I would become a housewife, or would choose my own career, and so on. But having chosen my man, I realize that I have to choose many other aspects.
"Jolly girl".
One of these aspects, for example, is the depth of relationships between the spouses. I had two experiences in relationships with young men before the marriage. There was a tremendous difference in the depth of the relationships in the past and the relationships in my marriage. It was the difference in trust and sincerity. Since that time, I have changed myself greatly. In the past, I was constantly wearing a mask of a "jolly girl".
Moreover, I considered myself happy in my life and occupation, because I smiled! Why to think about the imperfections of the world? Stay positive! This idea was in my head at the age of 14-20 years old. “Be positive in any situation”– this was my motto. Even when I felt myself uncomfortable or hurt, I resisted that feeling. I did so, mostly for the reason that I considered people, who were constantly complaining of their lives, unpleasant and not interesting to others. I aimed for people to like me and to be willing to communicate with me. However, I had only a couple of female friends. Frankly speaking, all the others were just drinking companions. No booze — no reason for communication. Or, no cigarettes – no reason for meeting.
I started losing myself.
The greatest problem with that “jolly girl” was that she settled in me and I started losing myself. Very often, when my boyfriend asked me about my feelings, I could not give an answer, as I was not able to define my own feelings. It manifested not only in my mood swings, but also in choosing clothes, movies, professions, etc. I remember that I could not even choose my favorite color.
I felt that something was wrong with me, but I could not understand, where and how I could find the way out. It happened so, that my husband and I were from different cities. The first two years of our relationships we talked by the phone every day. But this distance was like a blessing for us. During this time, I had plenty of talks. My husband always asked me about my feelings and I learned to concentrate on my personal emotions. Thus, I started realizing the depth of the relationships that had been unknown to me before. I believe that the depth of the relationships is in the ability of analyzing our own feelings.
A lot Of Us can relate to this post
Very Nice Pictures and a real good read
Agree. To be or to pretend - is the eternal question.
Thank you for your attention, @anns! ;)
Beautiful.
It`s great, that you have met such a person, who was so attentive to you. empathy and attention to the inner world of another is exactly what we are doing very rare in our busy world. congratulations to you and your husband. in our country we call shuch universary a "wax wedding"
Thank you, @nekromarinist! I should have replied you earlier. Sorry I'm so slow ;)
Totally agree with you. And it's real fortune if you have deep and meaningful relations. Still I believe that every can achieve it if he wants.
very nice work, great colour choices
What a beauty!
And how familiar...
Oh, @natichi, you just inspire me :)
This art looks very cool ... I try soon come and look what more you post and how you make all this :) But what I see here looks very cool :)