7 Lessons for Life

We gain wisdom by learning things the hard way, even though this can often be a painful process.

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For some the most difficult and painful part of this process is that it can take time to understand the growth opportunity in lessons learned the hard way.

Below are 7 lessons for life, presented in the hopes that they will help foster growth and wisdom by allowing some of you to learn these lessons sooner rather than later.

1. You can spend your life “doing what you love”, but to succeed you’ll need to work 10 times harder than everyone else.

The truth is that 99% of the people on planet Earth DO NOT get to spend their lives doing what they love.

Most end up doing what their parents tell them to do, what friends or councilors tell them to do, or they simply follow the money. Many are forced into their occupations by circumstances and a feeling that there’s no way to break out of the cycle they’re in.

Those wanting to live life on their own terms and do what they love need to realize that this type of life is a privilege, not a right.

You can live this kind of life – anyone can – but you need to put in the work to do so.

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2. Hard work and joyfulness can coexist.

I’ve never understood why people think that laughter means you aren’t taking the situation at hand seriously.

The best ideas are often those that are simplest, and also the ones that come through ease and through moments of joy.

Your connection with others flows through your laughter, and if you can laugh while solving problems you’ll find that your creativity expands and opens.

Most people never learn to tap into their joyful creativity and end up old and grumpy, devoid of the joy that the universe holds for all of us.

Life is and should be first and foremost about having fun.

Having fun doesn’t mean you are getting things accomplished. In fact, if you’re having fun you’ll get more accomplished than you ever dreamed possible.

3. Today’s habits form tomorrow’s person.

Most people don’t realize it, but the habits you create for yourself today will determine the person you are tomorrow.

If you want to become a different person you can start today. Any action you take, if repeated each day for a week, will begin the process of change.

By repeating the action each day for a month, you have created a new habit.

Once that habit (can be a good one too, like exercise, healthy eating, meditation) is created it become stronger each day. And at the end of a year you will see a completely different person than the one you are today.

You can’t underestimate the power of each small action undertaken every day.

Whether good or bad, these actions will determine who you eventually become, so why not focus on the good. And remember, you can always begin a process to change, even if you’re 80 years old.

4. There is always fear lurking beneath your anger.

There is a natural progression in emotions that leads from fear to anger to hate.

By the time we get to hate we typically believe that the emotion is created by something outside ourselves – the thing that we hate, and which often causes us suffering.

But if we look inside that hate we can see the anger that has built inside us. And within that anger is almost always a core of fear.

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A fear of letting go.
A fear of rejection.
A fear of loving.
A fear of loss.

If you acknowledge these fears you soon find they lose their power over you and you come to a place of compassion.

And then you can move forward.

5. You need to “practice” your emotions

When thinking of practice you probably think of skills practice.

You practice dribbling a basketball, or you practice your writing skills. But emotions also take practice, and they create the type of person you are.

You can practice compassion, and patience, and humility.

You can also practice joy and self-awareness just as easily as practicing anger, gossip, conflict and hatred.

And who you are emotionally, what the world sees of you, is a reflection of those emotions that you practice on a daily basis, whether consciously or unconsciously.

You certainly weren’t born grumpy.

You have simply practiced those emotions that lead to grumpiness – anger, resentment, pessimism – far more than you’ve practiced joy, contentment, and acceptance.

6. Everyone has an agenda.

This cliché is often uttered in a negative context, but it doesn’t have to be so.

It’s worth understanding that we all need to provide first for ourselves, and also for our families and friends.

Everyone has their own dreams, goals, aspirations and needs. We all have close family and friends, and fundamentally we have the same basic needs.

While there are those we know we can trust and rely on, it is best to realize that every person has their own personal agenda, even those closest to you, and that there is no way to control the actions of others.

It’s unrealistic to expect others to put your needs before their own. They may do so temporarily, but long term they will follow their own agenda, as will you.

The best way to make yourself part of their agenda is to help them achieve their own dreams and goals. In that way they will inevitably help you achieve your own goals and dreams.

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7. The journey is always more fulfilling than the destination.

Setting goals and gaining the help of others to fight your way to that goal is an admirable thing.

Sacrificing the well-being of yourself and others to achieve your goals is another thing entirely.

Creating emotional conflict and strain will always overshadow the joy you feel when achieving your goals.

Learn to enjoy the journey towards your goals with others, as this will be far more enjoyable, rewarding and memorable than the eventual destination.

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