Your fears are yours
We all are scared of something and have different kinds of fears, which is fine. Few people like sharks, spiders or snakes and I don't think anyone really enjoys going to the dentist or giving a blood sample.
I've been told that at the age of two I almost drowned when walking on slippery rocks by the lake. I fell into the deep water and started to sink. My dad jumped after me and was able to get me out of the water. After that my parents had a hard time to get me even to the shower or wash my hear. The moment the water started pouring on me I would scream.
Since then one of my biggest fears has been water. Because of the fear I learned to swim very late compared to the other kids. At the age of 35 I still can't go under the water, or when I try, it feels like I'm drowning. I am not a good swimmer and would definitely die if I would be at the mercy of the sea. Unfortunately my husband is just as bad swimmer as me.
So when our baby was born we decided that she is not going to inherit our fears. We have to somehow show that the water is okay and there is nothing to be afraid of. We took her to baby swimming. At the moment she seems to enjoy it though she is mainly eating the plastic balls that float in the pool. For me it has also been a learning experience since I have to put her under the water and let her dive. At times, I recognize the fear in me and I have to work hard to keep myself calm so that she will feel safe.
The water is just one of my fears of course. There are many and some I might not even know or identify as a fear. When you become a parent I think it is very important to start recognizing these issues inside ourselves, so we do not pass them onto your child. She doesn't need to have our fears. She will surely have enough of her own later and overcoming mine may help her learn to deal with hers.
Hugs, Momone
You did the right thing 😊 we should overcome our fears
Thanks. And I think so too. :)
Fear is the only disease deliberately spread by it's sufferers.
Glad to see you're conscious of this, and want more for your daughter.
Well said. Trying my very best to keep my fears just mine.
A nice post @momone. I recall as a child being told don't do this don't do that, mostly about things that would not have harmed me. I think that my parents just felt afraid of those things and so kept me away from them. Maybe they weren't afraid but possibly they just didn't understand. My mother told me there was three things I could not have in my life: Guns, tattoos and motorbikes. I have them all.
Guns were first. She came along and learned about them and felt more comfortable. Tattoos were next and she came to accept it. Motorbikes were next and once I got her on the back she embraced it. She was afraid still, but had a better understanding and so may have been less worried about me getting hurt. Well, probably not. Anyway, she came to a greater level of understanding.
I'm not a parent but I feel it's important to let their children have a little room to move, to learn by experience rather than not learn because of fears held by the parents.
It's fantastic you're getting your bub into the water despite your own fears.
Thanks for sharing your fears with us. Resteemed and upvoted.
Thank you @galenkp for reading, commenting, resteeming and voting. Much appreciated. :)
Guns, tattoos and motorbikes.. Do you think you have all of them because you were told not to or is it just a coincidence? Interesting anyway.
I'm trying to give her a chance to learn by herself and not all the time tell "don't do that" or "it's too dangerous" but it's much harder than I thought. I guess it's quite natural for a parent to try to protect your child. Just have to be careful not to take it too far.
It sounds like you're doing a great job and yes, I can imagine it's hard for you to let her find her own way. I think allowing a young person to explore in their formative years can avoid a 'fear of faiure' later in life. A parent controlling every little thing for a child, telling them to colour within the lines for instance can indoctrinate the child and later in life they may feel unwilling to try something new that may or may not see them fail. The, "it's easier not to do it than do it and fail" scenario. I use the word fail but mean things like going for that promotion, competing in a sport at a higher level etc. the fear of failure has prevented many from trying I think.
As for the 3 items my mum said I couldn't have? Well, I was an adult when I got them so made my own decisions. None of them were made out of spite. Guns at 22, Tattoos at 30 and motorbike at 32. It just seemed to be right at the time.
You are absolutely right @galenkp . I've been struggling with the fear of failure myself and I think it's mainly because my parents (especially my mom) were over-protective (will write a post about that later). Have to make sure that I will give more room to my child.
And I didn't mean that you would get tattoos etc out of spite, but maybe it's something subconscious. Just wondering when my daughter will get her tongue pierced. ;)
The fear of failure stops so many people from trying in the first place. I think everyone has experienced it. Understanding and overcoming it is a big step forward. The way I did it was to take on small challenges that I knew I could succeed at with little stress. Those small things, repeated often, became bigger and bigger. It's sort of like acclimatising to a really hot bath I guess. Bit by bit.
Haha...I think no time is a good time for a tongue piercing! I think never for that cute little bub of yours. I can assure you that I thought about my mum's no tattoo rule all those years before I got my first one. Still happened though. I didn't feel guilty and she ended up liking it and the quality of the art. You see? Even she could overcome her fears. Anyone can do it.
No kid has to fear anything if they have good parents
That's the goal I guess.
Love this!!! Yes he right thing was done .well done
Thank you. :)