WOW @shneakysquirrel - great blog post. The secret really is finding it in one's self. I know this from experience several times over. No matter the hardship, I know that I will make it through because mindset is everything.
Had I not pursued joy and happiness, I might have stayed in a soul-sucking marriage. I made it clear that I could not be an effective parent if I was miserable all the time. I chose happiness...and now I'm married to the love of my life. :)