I felt myself tearing up when I was reading this. I am at this point and no matter what I do I just can't get myself out of this hump.

I have talked to my family and they just think this is a phase that will eventually work things out. You see every year at this time I get so depressed and unable to move.
Nothing would give me joy, the world would seem flat and colorless.
I would try to bury myself in projects and initiatives but now I feel empty. I had a major project assigned but then I suddenly ghosted and stopped coming because I just couldn't anymore.
I trap myself inside a bubble and when people ask I tell them I am ok just busy. I have stopped seeing friends and the games i play brings me no joy.

I try to fill my waking hours with positive reads but somehow it is not working. Death is not the answer but sometimes it looks like the only way to escape.