I felt myself tearing up when I was reading this. I am at this point and no matter what I do I just can't get myself out of this hump.
I have talked to my family and they just think this is a phase that will eventually work things out. You see every year at this time I get so depressed and unable to move.
Nothing would give me joy, the world would seem flat and colorless.
I would try to bury myself in projects and initiatives but now I feel empty. I had a major project assigned but then I suddenly ghosted and stopped coming because I just couldn't anymore.
I trap myself inside a bubble and when people ask I tell them I am ok just busy. I have stopped seeing friends and the games i play brings me no joy.
I try to fill my waking hours with positive reads but somehow it is not working. Death is not the answer but sometimes it looks like the only way to escape.
Thank you very much, I know what you mean 🤔