Mini Motivation #26 - The saddest kind of people I've ever met
Over the many years of working in the fields of personal development - training, speaking, coaching, facilitating growth events - I've met all kinds of people. Too many measurements and categories to group them, really.
But one that I felt saddest for, are those who simply just "exist" in the world. They don't have a vision. They have no interest. They don't see the importance of growth and ambition. They don't have a passion to pursue. The answer you'll hear them say most of the time, is:
"I don't know."
And the conversation ends there.
I've seen some coaches trying to work with them, by asking powerful coaching questions like "If you were to know, what would you do?" Even in those cases, they will still stare blankly at the coach (or you), shrug their shoulders, and repeat their "I don't know." With the same level of intensity, even.
These, for me, are the saddest type of people. Even when their loved ones tried to help them, they just remain unresponsive. Sometimes I wonder, why would our Makers give them life and free choice, and yet, they choose to treasure none of it. They are blessed with opportunities others would beg for. They are blessed with peace others would fight for. They are blessed with education others would die for.
And yet, they just go through life, without really living it.
Can I be honest? They scare me, really. They constantly put me on check, to make sure I don't become like that. I honestly have a genuine fear that one day I would slip, and become like that too. I would chant the "I don't know" as well.
I know it's bad to compare like that, because in no way I want to feel superior in any way. Having said that, I can't say the thought doesn't send a shiver down my spine. I would tell my close friend, @jikey, and partner, @deborism, that if they ever see me become like that, they have to try their hardest to knock the toughest sense into me, to wake me up from lifeless living.
What about you? Do you share the same fear as well?
Mini Motivation is my own daily strategy to inspire myself. Mostly 3 minute reads.
From Motivation, we gain Inspiration. From Inspiration, we achieve Momentum. And the rest, they say, is history.
Hope it helps nudge you a bit too in the right direction.
Oh it did? Let me know in the comments, and of course an upvote would be a nice motivation for me. :)
Stay awesome!
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Honestly, I share your fear but mostly for the people around me,those i get close to. I am not a fun of"I dont know" cos I'm never "settled" if I dont know. So i got close to this lady friend recently and I felt that she was very "good" but then she wasnt living up to that. Turns out she had been told she wasnt good a lot in a childhood and even recently. I had to nag at her for a while so she'll stop saying that to me. You wont beleive that she always had a lot to say behind the I dont know. She just wanted to "not good" perspective people had of her. Thanks for sharing.
Great article, I just listened to an audio book by G.K. Chesterton on this topic. It is called Man alive. I highly recommend it!
Thanks for the recommendation. Will look out for it at Audible.com.
Hmph, looks to me like an old book! Well, given the fact he died like 80+ years ago...
Give it a try, some things are "evergreen"
True words, there are so many people down here in Africa that goes through life clueless. They really don't understand what's going on around them, they're lost in time and lost in the world.
These people are hard to motivate, as they will often be responsive to inspirations. I see them a lot and it bothers me too.
What I feel this people need is not a coach, they don't really need someone to come and tell them what to do as they have developed a strong defensive mindset due to their low self esteem and insecurities.
These people needs attention to feel secure
Wow, that's really good perspective, @aristokratos. Attention, huh?
Kinda reminded me of a quote from Dr. John Maxwell, "People don't care how much you know, until they know how much your care."
Thank you@maverickfoo true words sir
I think this 'I don't know' attitude has been developed since childhood. They don't have a goal. For example, I was teaching tuition to a 13 year old boy and he did not seem enthusiastic enough. When I asked him what are your goals or what do you want to achieve, he said 'I don't know'. As a teacher, its pretty depressing to guide a student who does not have any goals. Even when I tried breaking it down for him, like what marks or greds he would 'like' to have, all he said was 'cincailah' (just whatever) as long as I pass. I had to tell him that if he wanted to continue classes with me, he had to change his mindset. This boy is gifted with so many things in his life. He has everything he wanted. On the other hand, another boy that I taught tuition, was not that gifted in his life. He never said I don't know! What is your goal? I want to be a doctor. He fails every subject. When I ask a question, he will have an answer even if it was wrong! Just over confidence in everything but after carefully analyzing, this boy always had an answer as he would be beaten by his dad if he did not answer. It was his survival mechanism! So, I probably think the 'I don't know' started of as they were afraid of having goals! Something in their past may have triggered them to say that and feel it is a perfect escape plan until they don't realize they have been carrying with them all their life!
Hi @ranjitavelan. Thanks for sharing the two cases. I mean, they are so different in nature. One being aimless in life, the other doing for the sake of doing. Quite sad cases, and interesting to see how their home environment had affected their attitude that much too. I wonder if they will ever be "woken up" and take charge for their lives.
Hmm: I agree with the need that everyone should have for goals for the different aspects of life. I do also like to see it as a combination deal: work to achieve set goals, but skip the stress and enjoy the journey being travelled. 😎
Yup. Different areas like finances, spirituality, relationship, health etc.
High-five on "enjoying the journey"!
@maverickfoo, I always believe there is a cause behind the " I don't know " type of people. Our life probably to rush that we give up continue further pursue the roots. Mostly I believe was reasonated from the way to be look at from family education.
Well, some would say giving an answer has the risk of it being wrong, whereas answering "I don't know" enables them to "get" away with it.
thank you for sharing the story of how we introspect ourselves to be better, and @jhoni amazed @ maferickfoo afraid of a bad change in the future and trusting friends to remind.
Have you tried asking them what makes them happy? I know, some people will respond they don't know the answer to that question too.
The thing that I've learned is that people don't know what they haven't been exposed to or haven't seen. I remember reading a story once about a man who didn't know what to do with his life and his teacher gave him a task to do a research and write down all the professions in the world. The man didn't finish his report before he found ten different things he wanted to try.
Thank you for sharing this, it was lovely to read 💚